From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigationJump to search
Never, ever deny a nigga the goods. Seriously.

A dealer is a supplier of drugs often yearned for by terrorists and anarchists living in America. There are at least 100 internet sites based in Mexico where drugs can be purchased from these people. These are the only traceable ones because Mexicans don't know how to use hax. The best ones are known to be in Canada and Europe, who get their drugs from Iran, Afghanistan, and Antarctica - where the terrorist overlords manufacture drugs such as marijuana - or as your mom calls it, Cannabis. For once she is right about something.

There is a dealer hierarchy, which consists of a pyramid of dealers who report to their suppliers until they reach the supreme Dealer of the world, whose name is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (an honor previously held by Saddam Hussein). Dealers usually owe their suppliers money; in such a situation you will either be scolded or beat up if your supplier is white, but if the supplier is a terrorist, it is possible that he will rape your girlfriend.

It is not hard to be a low-level dealer, so when buying drugs you often have to deal with undesirables like Jews. To be a high-level dealer with a sizable operation, you cannot be a Jew or a fag. You may have to ultimately report to Jews, however, since they will want to steal your monies they were too pussy to earn themselves.


In order to not get ripped off, bring a gun to the transaction. This will calm the dealer and let him know who is in charge. If you see other men approach and reach for something in their coats, shoot them, take all the drugs you see, and leave. Failure to do this will result in you being ripped off, as it is a universal rule among dealers to rip off their customers.

How to Deal

1. Find someone to sell to. Watch out for upstanding negros who want to get you v&.

2. Make them wait.

3. Pass out the goodz.

4. ????

5. Profit!


All dealers strive to be this cool

For new customers, explain that although your prices are slightly higher, you are selling good quantity or quality. The customer doesn't have to believe you, but if you're not either a nigger or a retard they will come back to you because you have been honest with them.

Whenever you get some kind of new variation of the drug you sell, tell your customers that the guy who you got it from said it's the best he had in a long time (because a wholesaler is usually either so hopped up they can't remember what the last batch was like or doesn't care because frankly who else do you know who can sell you am ounce of speed?) The punters will consider the source of the information credible, because erowid LIES but if/when it turns out to be wrong, you cannot be blamed because what are they going to do tell their mummies that the coke they bought was mixed with (more than the usual amount) of hay-fever tablets.

If you are approached by the Police, politely explain that you are just waiting for a friend and are leaving now because you are not under arrest. When he tells you your drug selling is funding the terrorists, say nothing and wait for a lawyer. Protip: just because he is police doesn't mean he has your best interests at heart in fact if he says "I can help you" he means "I can help you into a prison cell."

Avoid talking on facebook. All cell phone companies are legally required to turn over your records to the police if ordered to, but they only record contact and not content and if they bust you it will be by using the records to prove you are connected to some-one else involved in illegal activities. Face to face communication is generally the safest, so tell everyone who calls to ask if 'he can meet you' or 'drop round for that CD (8th of an oz) or that DVD (quarter of an OZ)'.

Don't deal in other people's turf! Only applies if you're selling crack/heroin, (which your not as there are no niggers on the internet.) However, if you do have a death wish deal wherever you want Protip: buy a gun.


It's hard to resist, so don't follow the old saying "Don't get high on your own supply". If you operate your business properly you will have enough leftover to use yourself. However, if you are not good with money, you will end up being in debt to a supplier, get your reproductive organs dismantled and deserve it. Fucking n00b.

=$p€₦₫i₦g ₥o₦€¥z=

Black dealers spend all their money on bling-bling, hoes and pimping their ride. White dealers, not including you, manage their money and hide it in offshore bank accounts. However, after the Jews collapse the global economy and the money becomes worthless, you will have been pwnt.

They also enjoy purchasing playboy centerfold wives which sometimes leads to them being murdered by said wife, totally asking for it.

Dealers on Steroids

Successful drug dealers who end up dealing in mass quantities of your fave substances are usually known as suppliers since they only deal to middle-men who then sell the goodies to street dealers. Most of these serious businessmen are Mexicans in the Americas and as Cartel Bosses, run vast empires of Beaner Gold and provide gainful employment to hundreds of young men South of the border who would otherwise be penetrating America's porous border fences to take jobs away from fine, upstanding young American college grads lurking in Home Depot parking lots to get jobs picking grapes and shit for $4 an hour. These hired guns are highly skilled in the areas of torture, blood, decapitations and shooting everything and anything that moves to enforce Cartel law and order.

External Links

See Also



is part of a series on


[Cut It OutExpand Your Mind]