Dave Chappelle

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Dave dressing like a total fucking poser

Dave Chappelle is a fake nigger from the mean 'burbs who gained fame and fortune for his brief comedy run on the deeply unfunny Chappelle's Show. In order to appreciate the humor, you must be a nigger.

Rise to Fame

Dave showing off the talent that made him a success - being able to look like a Coon, while at the same time hang with whites

Chappelle first became known to the world by creating the second-rate stoner comedy Half-Baked, in which some darkie..(oops sorry retard bigot moment)white guy landed his ass in jail and his totally not gay boyfriends had to become drug dealers to earn bail money for him. The movie was not received well, and so he returned to the stand-up scene for awhile. It is a little known fact that Dave Chappelle is NOT black, he is a very, very tanned whitey, thus he has used the semblance of negroidism like a weapon to achieve success. For the most part, Comedy Central's insurance refuses to cover them if any niggers were are on set. In Dave, they found the perfect solution; all of the benefits of affirmative action, with none of the drawbacks of having an excitable nigra around expensive equipment.

Comedy Central decided to just stick him any old place, give him a few bucks and a Camera, and write him off as the cost of doing business in America. However, they could not have predicted the insane appeal that his forced meme based comedy would have with 13 year old boys. The hideous monster that they helped create would irritate generations to come with high pitched screams of "Mmm Mmm Bitch!", "Fuck yo couch nigga", and most dreaded of all "I'M RICK JAMES BITCH!!!!!!" These and other phrases would become a rallying cry for suburban niggers, and their wigger counterparts, as they received that intense feeling of validation that comes from having a corporation cater to your special brand of retardation. While these memes may have been amusing or even lulz at first, these jokes were promptly brutally beaten to death by legions of unfunny idiots, much in the same manner as "ALRIGHTY THEN" from Ace Ventura, another forced meme that even now gives oldfags the chills.

God damn you CC. You sold us all out. How much money is enough?! HOW MUCH?!!!!!

The Chappelle Show

Dave as a crackhead; this is the kind of original, high minded comedy he claimed to perform on his show.

He made a low-budget sketch comedy show that generated some mild lulz and controversy. He brought along with him a skinny, ostentatiously white servant and pleasurer named Neil Brennan. He was paid 55 million for the second season, yet somehow the sketches still managed to seem like they were shot on a shoestring budget at the last minute. This is because Dave and his but-buddy Neil did not understand the concept of delegation, and Dave being a Muslim would not stand for any actually funny Jew writers being brought in to write jokes. This reduced the entire writing staff to him and Neil, and neither of them were very funny well rested, so you can only imagine the shit that spewed from their minds on four hours of sleep. The jokes were more of the same old-hat "White men do dis, black men do dat" variety, though he made history by being the first person to perform in Whiteface Scratch that, Eddy Murphy already did Whiteface on SNL in the 80s. And better. The three or four jokes over the course of the season that weren't about race relations were just spazzing out or spouting random nonsense

Mmm mm, peanut butter and crack sandwich


—Dave cares deeply about racial dignity

Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?


—Wayne Brady, trying in vain to make white people fear him

My grandmother always told me; never be the first nigger to do anything.


—Good thing he isn't black then.

If I actually said what I was thinking, they would take me away, that's why I have to get this young white girl to sing my thoughts


—Dave Chappelle thinking that we give a damn what he thinks

I'm Rick James, Bitch!

Dave Chappelle doing something he'll regret later

Wavy-Davy really hit the big time after doing a show where he impersonated famous crackhead Rick James. The resulting phrase "I'm Rick James, Bitch!", became an intensely unfunny meme that was shouted at him everywhere he went. He once even walked off stage at a comedy show after the audience was screaming "I'M RICK JAMES, BITCH!" at him. Being an ungrateful, greedy, Jew-like Muslim, and not appreciating that he had been fortunate enough to get his 15 minutes of fame, he wanted to be remembered for more "serious" comedy, and so he went back to making his lover write jokes for him. However, this line will likely haunt him to his grave, and after the pieces of him left from his suicide bombing are collected and buried, some enterprising troll will surely carve them into his tombstone.

You know why my show is good? Because the network officials say you're not smart enough to get what I'm doing, and every day I fight for you. I tell them how smart you are. Turns out, I was wrong. You people are stupid.


—Dave, being incredibly butthurtt after people in the crowd yelled, "I'm Rick James Bitch!" at him

Repeating this line doesn't make you Rick James. It makes you his bitch.


Like many Wiggers who get the opportunity to hang out with real cotton pickers, soon Dave started believing that he was actually black. He was filled with rage and self loathing at all of the whiteness inside of him. He was addicted to the fear that white people showed him on the streets, saying nigger, and that woman automatically assumed he had a big dick. However, he soon realized that very few people knew his dark, or more appropriately, light secret. He devised a plan to remove any and all doubt that he was a darkie. He brought around radical neo-anarchist communist Paul black person, whose comedy stylings consisted of "Have you ever noticed how whites are engaged in an organized conspiracy to repress black people?", and pretended to grow increasingly butthurt with the "artistic integrity" of his show. Finally, during filming of the third season, he pretended to take offense "at the way one white cameraman" was laughing at him. He used this as an excuse to skip town immediately and attend an Abbu-Sayyaf terrorist training camp in Sudan, before coming back to the US as a sleeper agent, with a clever backstory in place about helping children and a "mental breakdown". Note: Yes I am implying that Dave Chappelle is part of a sand nigger terrorist cell. He is a clear and present danger to the security of the united states. He has several tons of explosives and chemicals at his ranch in Ohio, and we urge the DHS to apprehend him immediately.

Dave also cleverly precluded any possibility of returning to the show that he now believed demeaned his "true" race by telling Comedy Central that if they aired any of the season 3 footage he had shot, he would never come back. Of course, being greedy Jews Dave knew they would air them anyway if there was the possibility of making even one more shit-stained dollar.

I would go to work on the show and I felt awful every day, that's not the way it was. ... I felt like some kind of prostitute or something. If I feel so bad, why keep on showing up to this place? I'm going to Africa. The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.


—Dave, whining about how hard life was with 55 million dollars.

Now he just sits on his big ranch in Ohio, waiting for that special call to come in from You Know Who, and playing WoW all day. He has two sons, Sulayman and black person, who he says hope to grow up and make a big boom in the entertainment scene. His wife is an Azn, and since he is a pseudo-negroid piece of white trash, we can only speculate what kind of monstrous fractional breed his children are.


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