Crystal Shinkle

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigationJump to search
Budd Reverse.gif
Find an iPod?

This page is about an attempted an hero.
Regardless of the facts in this case, please remember that all women secretly enjoy being raped.
Don't worry, internet LARPers police are coming.

Crystal Shinkle (aka YouTube Favicon.png Helprapevictim) is a 16 year old butthurt drug abuser who On May 1st, 2008, decided to whore herself out to the whole goddamn internet for attention. In a really bad method acting JewTube video, she cries about how a guy she had consensual sex with Over 9000 times raped her.

This novel turn of events has (seriously) taken the world of news by storm in a striking display of irony that is, in some circles, regarded as extremely lulzy. The video was created after she failed to become an hero, which makes this drama even more lulz worthy. People on eBaumsWorld decided to give this poor victim some support. Some feminazis entered the game and started bawwwwwing on JewTube, but everyone else except the feminazis answered: "TITS OR GTFO".

Background History

Crystal Shinkle was 15.9723 years old when she met Casey Mundling, an awesome 23 year old guy, at a party. They did some drugs and shortly after they started having a relationship. They had consensual sex over 9000 times in the missionary position and they even posted pictures of themselves on the interwebs and on MySpace. Then her father found the pictures of her on MySpace and felt butthurt. Apparently Casey Mundling broke her heart, and in an attempt to calm her angered father, she told the police about their relationship, hoping that they would nail him for fucking a 15.9 year old. The DA used common sense and realized that fucking a 15.9 year old, is the same as fucking a 16 year old, especially if said strumpet lied about her age. Law databases do not use decimals. Case closed, drama started.

Crystal learned that the case had been dropped, because she had given consent to sexual intercourse in the missionary position. The DA said: "I'd hit it, it's legal". She had a mental breakdown, and tried to become an hero. Then she made this video and posted it on JewTube in an attempt to spawn a personal army, seemingly unaware that bulling is rabbit on the internet.

Crystal jokes.jpg
Crystal felt so.jpg

A shitstorm breweth

The original video, reuploaded for great justice

The Internet Strikes Back

Look at the teim h.jpg
Crystal cries rape (3).jpg
Once again proving people care more about cats than they do about raped women. Sorry, allegedly raped women.

[[Image:Crystal_cries_rape (4).jpg|thumb|Protip: never use your name as a password].]

The faggotry of YouTube users abounds.

On May 15, eBaumsworld began a coordinated attack on the YouTube video page, leaving hateful messages and video replies. Someone hacked her YouTube account for the lulz. This is no different than posting personal army requests on /b/ or /i/, so her plan backfired and she got plenty of pizza, male strippers and other stuff ordered to her house. Probably because of that, after a few days the video was taken off YouTube. The only thing left now is mirrors and lulzy responses. This is a great example that truth and justice exists on the internet. There are still feminazis lurking on JewTube defending her, but no one cares about them.

"I've lived a really hard life."

partying, doing drugs, and having lots of sex is a horrible horrible life? she was living like a fucking ROCKSTAR. are you kidding me. I want to punch this whore in the face.



Hey, if anyone wants to help out, some fag is trying to troll the video. BAWWing up a storm, etc. Should prove to be a good lulzcow.

People left seriose comments:

Seriose cat loved by ebaums.jpg

ZOMG Teh Police Interview

tl;dr? - they threw out the case because she kept going on about how it was repeated, consensual, drug-fueled sex, on several occasions, over a significant stretch of time i.e.: would be laughed out of court by any jury of non drug-addled, skanky whores.

Kurt reacts to crystal.jpg
The results are in...
Reaching out for support
Crystal aristocrats.jpg

MyPoll Says "Asking for it, BITCH!"

A poll was held on Crystal's MySpace account. Thank you for voting. The last screenshot taken before removal in on the left.

How You Can Help

Contact the following government officials and inform them that you think this girl is a lying sack of shit who wanted it in the pooper. Be sure to tell them that you heard about the case from eBaumsworld:

  • State Attorney's Main Office: 1-407-836-2400
  • Mary Pullian (Governor's Assistant): 1-850-488-4441
  • Nicole Peques (State Attorney): 1-407-836-2402

CNN Chimes In On Their 360 Blog; Gets Trolled

CNN blogs about the case... and anonymous delivers:

Epic belair.jpg

Fresh Prince Rape

Now, this is a story all about how 
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
For you to sit and debate
I'll tell you how I became the little bitch
Who lied about rape

In West Florida born and raised
Getting drunk is how I spent most o' mah days
Getting high, climaxing, and cumming all cool
And all shootin' some heroin outside of the school
When a 23 year old guy
Who I thought looked quite good
Fucked me all around the neighborhood
I boned him a few times, and then I got scared 
So I moved over to YouTube and started to baaw there

I turned on the interweb and when it came near
I made my userpage pink, which in no way was queer
If anything I could sit and eat grapes
But I thought 'nah, forget it'
Time to bitch about "rape"!

I uploaded a video 'round 7 or 8
Used my spiffy camera, which I thought was great
I looked at the comments
I could finally see,
That my bitchy moans became a big fad on /b/

Spoof Videos

YouTube Favicon.png The untold story, gets told by a very special YouTube user YouTube Favicon.png The Truth Bout The Girl Who Cried 'RAPE' And Who Really Raped Her YouTube Favicon.png A remix of the lulzy video and some Cannibal Corpse YouTube Favicon.png 'Stripped', Raped and Strangled? We can only hope.


This camwhore professes to be victim of surprise sex herself. She is shocked and appalled by the eBaums shenanigans. Sadly she is Canadian and therefore there is nothing she can do. She is also eminently fuckable as ghastly as YouTube Favicon.png Crystal's other supporter. If you need to fap, but don't feel like you deserve to fap to anything attractive, click play below...

Schoolmarms everywhere are shocked by your faggotry. Where is your sympathy? Do you not realize you are looking at a FUTURE SUICIDE an hero??? (Final minute contains massive paternalistic call to arms. In remembrance of Bitingbeaver.)


[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

External Links




Crystal Shinkle
is part of a series on
An Heroes


Crystal ShinkleDylann Storm RoofJeffree MoonLolo FerrariOperation YewtubeOwen WilsonPogoRooRex FowlerSirtom93The Great Sonic-cide of 2007Toaster SteveTumbles the Stairdragon

Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAlan TuringAmanda ToddAn HaloStephanie Michelle BrownAndrew KoenigAsa CoonBrandon CrispBrigit Lorena GonzalezBroady Paul LedetBruce "Satan Claus" PardoBudd DwyerCandyjunkieCharles BishopCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterCho Seung-HuiCodey PorterDavid RitchesonDustin MichaelsDylan KleboldEmma JonesEric HarrisGeorge SodiniGizgizHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJiverly VoongJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJonathan Kendrick LewisJürgen ConingsKevin Neil WhitrickMarvin HeemeyerKlerckKurt CobainLeelah AlcornLivecorpseMatthias SchoormannMario FerreyraMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariJosh BallardNghtmrchld26Nikki CatsourasOtoya YamaguchiPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPhilip MarkoffQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRobert HawkinsRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickSadie DavilaSam LeesonShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayStephen KazmierczakStephen HuffStiletto oneTang YongmingTatiana the TigerTerry DavisThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTony48219Tyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonWilliam Atchison

Related Pages

90 Day JaneAn hero dayask.fmAutoerotic asphyxiationColumbineGolden iPodHeaven's GateHigh ScoreHow to become an heroJeffrey EpsteinMydeathspacePseudocideShotgun mouthwashSuicideThreatening suicideVirginia Tech massacreWaco

Portal icon whores.gif

Crystal Shinkle is part of a series on


Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.

JewTube Logo.png

Crystal Shinkle is part of a series on YouTube.



Visit the YouTube Portal

A Message From Chad and SteveA hunter shoots a bearAaronEverettLandAbsenceOfTheAbsentAddison MikkelsonAdeleADoseOfBuckleyAeverine NievesAfr0blu3Afro NinjaAgoraphobic-BlueAJcomixAkai DaliaAkaichouAkewsticRockRAleksandr PistoletovAlex Mae MuhollandAlexander4488Alexander4488/Approved ED PageAlexander4488/Director CommentaryAlexandercarneiroAlex MacRaeAlix HenriolAlphawerewolffAlyallieAmazingplatypus69Amber ButtrumAmerica's Third PartyAngelofthyNightAngry GrandpaAngry Homo KidAngry JoeAngry Video Game NerdAngryLittleGiriAniMatAnonymousNastyAnonymousThoughtAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAnthonytoneyAnti-Flagger Association of YouTubeAntiDisneyMovementAntoine DodsonApplemilk1988AquagirlwhitefoxArceusfan2013Ardi RizalArgent009Armake21Armoured SkepticAsalieriAshlea ClaytonASMRAstablaziaAtJap13Atheist Scum UnitedAtheneAttackofthehankAudreynolandAush0kAustin FullmerAutoplayAxelswife1Aydin PaladinAyumihamiltonB WalmerBaaaBags of MoneyBananaphoneBANGSBarefoot NatureBarmer479Bart the GeneralBattimBattle For Dream IslandBee MovieBeebee890BenthelooneyBerdBetabyteiphoneBigBadFurgyTheFoxBikerfoxBill122460Billoon45BLACKB0NDBLACKbusterCriticBlasphemy ChallengeBleedingFireWolfBloodraptorBludshot the HedgehogBlueshineWolfBlunty3000Bob RehahnBodrochowskiBodyXPoliticBoh3m3BoxxyBrandon SmithBravesgirl5BreakBrett KeaneBrian MuellerBrittany VentiBrokeTheInterwebBroncofn90BrookersBurger the Angry CatBURKBus Uncle

CaddicarusCakefartsCallumCartelCansin13CapnOAwesomeCaptainAtheistCaramelldansenCarl FiadinoCartoonjunkieCash MasterCassiusPlejarenAlienChad "Atheist Killa" ElliottChad HurleyChadwardennChancepsychChangeDaChannelCharlestrippyCharlie Bit Me - Again!Cheeseburger JoshCheetawolfChekovsgunCheryl ShumanChismahChloe DykstraChosonNinjaChrissy ChambersChris CrockerChris-chan/VideosChristianHillbillyChuggaaconroyCid SilverwingCid and Conners Excellent AdventureCircaRigelCirnoClay ClaymoreClayranger89CodenamesailorearthCodenamesailorearth/2nd Wikia SagaCodenamesailorearth/2nd Wikia Saga/BlacklistCodenamesailorearth/ED SagaCodenamesailorearth/The BeginningCokeman2423Colleen ThomasCondom SnortingCooking With Jack ShowCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666Crazy GideonCrazyvideosandrantsCriss AngelCRoadwarriorCropperbCrossmackCrunkcoreCrystal ShinkleCubbyCulexorCulexor/YouTubeCuntFuckBitchCupcake DogCutechongCutiePieMarziaCwilliams1976CyanterroristDaddyOFiveDaHaloChickDamaronDamien EstreichDan144xDandCVideosDangermanDanielspengiesDarknessthecurseDarksidered992DarkspeedsDarksydePhilDarkzero63DashieGamesDavid After DentistDavid HockeyDavidsfarmDaxFlameDbootsthedivaDcigsDear SisterDeleting Your YouTube VideosDemcadDenalynnnDerek JeevesDerpaviangottDev-catscratchDigibronyDigitalSurgeonDiGiTiLsOuLDiaper BoyDie AntwoordDips Tobacco RedneckDJ KEEMSTARDLAbaoaquDodgerofZionDog264Donnie DaviesDouble RainbowDoubleSAnimationsDownfallDr. OctogonapusDr. TranDr4g0nK1dDraconas RayneDrewtoothpasteDrinkingwithbobDrossRotzankDrp1zzaDylan KimberlinDynaCatlovesme

Sailormoonred1Sam PepperSammyClassicSonicFanSandro L JeanSanjaya/JSargon of AkkadSaturnDOSSaturnine FilmsSave AaliyahScarredFurrySchool Bus FightScott DeiCasScottHermanFitnessSegacampSerialKillaCSesshReincarnatedSeto-Kaiba.comSetsuna ToushirouShane DawsonShane LeeSharolaidShaycarlSherry ShrinerShockOfGodShocked and Appalled CatShoe0nHeadShon TerryShoobySimply OkamiSimply SaraSindragonSirius OrionisSittin On Tha ToiletSkueeSKWEEZYSleepykinqSmell Yo DickSmogon UniversitySmorekitty97SmpfilmsSnackyCakes2008SnowVhiteSokiTwopawSonadowclubSonic X BloopersSony VegasSONYFANBOYSoulbrothanumbuh3SpaghettiosSparkalloonSparkling WigglesSpax3SpeakoniaSSSniperWolfStarlaglamSteAndKelStealth CatSteve ChenStu makes chocolate pudding at 4 in the morningSuperMarioLoganSuper Planet DolanSusan BoyleSwitchiedaggerSxephilSynchtubeTabbyTablecowTaekesiTails DollTakedownmanTakeShotActionTamias the ChipmunkTammyToeTana MongeauTay ZondayTay Zonday/CRLyricsTechaTedjesuschristgodTeenage Tourettes CampTehbigtoasterTerror PlaylistTh3RoyismThat Guy With The GlassesThatKidDouglasThatkidparkerThdrksideThe Annoying OrangeThe Barney BunchThe CaseyThe DickridersThe Domino's YouTube IncidentThe Failkips Strikes BackThe Fine BrosThe Florida Tweenie RapistsThe Harlan ShowThe Kewl KidsThe Incredible Flying Broomstick GuyThe MoleThe Mulberry EightThe NutshackThe Online GamerThe Rebel MediaThe Slow Mo GuysThe Spoony ExperimentThe Spoony Experiment/Spoony and FriendsThe TrashmanThe Troll HunterThe Unknown AutobotThe Young TurksTheAmazingAtheistTheArchfiendTheAtheistGamerThedramatubeTheHill88ThemaskedanalystTheMrXshowTheMysteriousMrEnterThenintendo3ds2TheQuestionMarkManThe rEactorTherealagerbonTheRedSkullTheresa ShellerTheSockDetectiveTheSuperRobotSoujaOGTheTruthHurtsNetworkThewinekoneThink B4 You SpeakThree Wolf MoonThunderf00tTime MagazineTimmygalTimmysmommy01TinaecmusicTina S.TL;DWToby J RathjenTolstoyKafkaEvskyTom SersonTommy JordanTommy SotomayorTommypezmasterTonettaTonetta777Tony48219TonystockertToonKriticY2KTori BelliachiTotalbiscuitTourette's GuyTrevor RiegerTrey Eric SeslerTriciakittyTrickshottingTriggerfoxTrollsNewsTrollsOfTerrorTrololoTroyriserTruthfulChristianTsimFuckisTunakTurtle PunchTwilightSucksTwizidwickedletteTwiztidAshTwo Girls One FingerTyler GarmanyTyler Redick TheVeganStudent

Crystal Shinkle
is part of a series on
Surprise Sex

Forms of Rape

Almost raped 💔 Asking for it 💔 Ass Rape 💔 Baby Rape 💔 Cyberrape 💔 Fart Rape 💔 Date Rape 💔 Earrape 💔 Fart rape 💔 Gay Rape 💔 Prison Rape

Rapey Stuff

Battle Raper 💔 Netorare 💔 Rape Checklist 💔 Rape Clock 💔 Rape culture 💔 Rape dollars 💔 Raped Statistics 💔 Rape Kit 💔 RapeLay 💔 💔 RapeX 💔 Raping Little Suzy 💔 Sharking 💔 You Gonna Get Raped

[No means no!Moar ræp plox!]