Concerned Mother

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Typical Concerned Mother and her future sex-toy children.
Big-ass SUV: A necessity for soccermoms.
Most Concerned Mothers will reject every music genre besides this.
When about to confront a concerned mother, remember to bring a gun.
This image is disgusting and was made by a pedophile. I demand that you remove it from your site, because my child doesn't want to go outside anymore.
Jesus' mum is concerned that Brian (not Jesus cock munch) has been having sex with a Welsh tart
Soccermom's reaction to son being an Otaku.

A Concerned Mother is any man, woman, or other waste of existence, that complains to websites, writers, book publishers, television networks, city councils, or other parents under the guise of being concerned about their children, despite knowing deep down that letting a child learn responsibility is an important part of his or her growth. Scientific studies show that concerned mothers are actually mothers only 26% of the time; the other 74% spent being either conservatives or triggered SJWs who get angry at things their children might lol at that they haven't even had the chance to inspect first (if not are incapable of understanding altogether), and are the one reason for just about everything imported from other countries getting censored, which is why you'll never see tentacle rape pronz in English.

Often, these mothers are simply unwilling to accept the obvious fact that their precious gift of life could ever be perfectly capable of hearing expletives without becoming traumatized or viewing sexual material despite the fact that they more than likely started sneaking into their father's porn collection at the age of 7. It is also safe to assume that many of these individuals have not deluded themselves to such a point, but rather are intentionally trying to deprive their offspring of the more enjoyable things in life that they will never again get to fully appreciate or experience because they were too ignorant to get an abortion in the first place.

Concerned mothers usually believe they have an inconceivable level of maturity, which is exhibited by their effort of sending out numerous letters of complaints (which are handwritten whenever possible, likely because they are too stupid to internet). These letters of grievance are actually normally very well thought-out and organized, despite the obvious fact that they are simply depicting an elaborate load of bullshit. It has further been proven that every concerned mother is a Jew due to such actions, regardless of their actual race, national origin, or religious preference.

Children Of Concerned Mothers

Due to their own sense of self-confidence generated through their often unsuccessful efforts, concerned mothers are often ignorant to the fact that their actions will greatly increase the chance that their children may grow up suffering ridicule. If this is not their parent's fault directly, it will be due to the lack of life knowledge that has been forced upon them, or an adverse effect encountered while trying too hard to defy mommy dearest.

Yes, in fact despite what they apparently stand for, they never actually inspire their kids to do well in life. Their children typically try to gain back the reputations that they have been deprived of and partake in any social activity that their mother may disapprove of. This includes becoming drug addicts, making the wrong type of friends, and participating in sexual activites. Many often just give up on life early and spend the remainder of their days at home under mommy's watchful eye, randomly browsing 4chan in between video game playing sessions. Those fitting the latter category also tend to fall far too easily for trollbait with less than desirable results, after which their first instinct is to cry to mom, who in turn will hammer the troll e-mails requesting personal information to discuss punishments with their mom or halfassed insults for hurting their special snowflake. Such an event will commonly result in the child shooting up his school and killing himself because he knows he can never return to that one chat room to discuss Twilight and roleplay as Stephenie Meyer's characters like Bella and Edward as he will get pwnt again to an even greater extent. Contrary to popular belief, a skilled troll will not feel bad if he has adhered to the code. If the troll feels remorse, then it probably wasn't an actual trolling. Undoubtedly, it was a civil conversation that the troll in question had pleasantly corrected the victim on his spelling or grammatical mistake, to ensure that future generations will not continue to epic fail in such a manner. This will still cause the concerned mother and the overprotected child to feel butthurt.

Ultimately, concerned mothers make these complaints not due to authentic concern for their children's well-being; rather, to avoid the fact their lives are unstimulating and meaningless, and are no longer as rewarding as they were when they were an idealistic college student.

For reference, this is usually how a conversation goes down prior to a concerned mother's letter.

IluvRowling: Hey there, what do you think of Harie Putter?

Proofreader82: Do you mean Harry Potter?


Proofreader82 has been blocked by user, IluvRowling.



Their Crazy Antics

Concerned mothers are well recognized on internet forums, letters to someone, weblogs, or on the newz. They usually write about how disturbed they are about modern day or something they witnessed, and usually expect someone completely unrelated to fix it or do something about it. For example:

Dear School Principal, I am a concerned mother who recently witnessed something quite disturbing. I walked into the room and saw my 16-year-old son watching a show called "The Simpson's Show" or "The Simpsons Family." despite its title, this was not a family show. The scene I found horrifying was when one of the characters, named Bartholomew "Bart" Simpson, tapped another female character on the shoulder. I found this excessively sexual and I do not want children being exposed to this kind of sexuality. I would appreciate it if you could do something about this or discourage your students from viewing "The Simpson's Show"


—Mrs. Anonymous

Dear School Principal, I am a concerned mother who recently witnessed something quite disturbing. I walked into a classroom and saw my 8-year-old daughter interacting with a young black person.


—Mrs. Anonymous

Dear Television Network, I am a mother of two worried about an advertisement recently shown on your channel. This commercial depicted two children playing a game of soccer when one slips and gets a cut. A lady then puts the product, labeled "neo spor in" on the cut. This commercial is inappropriate and violent and I do not want my children learning to play sports and possibly bleed, and expect me to help them when they do. Sports and the injuries that can be caused by them are dangerous and should not be encouraged by your network.


—Mrs. Anonymous

Hello. I am the mother of littlekid223, and I have been told you all have been very rude on this forum. My son asked you all the name of the main character in Harry Potter and you all made fun of him. I expect you all to reply with your name and your parent's phone numbers.


—Mrs. Anonymous

For the people who have been making nasty, perverted, sexual adult comments toward CexsoBeswa, there is this law run by the FBI called internet child abuse. CexsoBeswa is now 8 and 10 years old. We will find out who these perpetrators are. If you are an adult making these comments, we will prosecute you and have you arrested. If you are a minor making these comments we will prosecute your parents and sue them for every penny they have.

Our local Detectives have contacted Youtube to find out the true profile identity of this channel and any channel like this one. can't wait for them to lock you up!



Bang'em Record's mom on youtube

Dear Television Network, I witnessed something very shocking and disturbing while watching television with my children in an commercial break. I was so shocked that I immediately unplug the television and told the kids to stay well away from it until I think its safe. Well This advertisement displayed Santa Claws giving a young girl a bottle of coca cola followed by a hug after she asked for a bottle of coke for Christmas. Not Only can my children not watch TV but now they are now terrified of Santa and want to stay locked up in a safe place until Christmas is over, because they are scared that Santa is going to rape them. Please immediately remove this advertisement before it frightens or offends any more people and children.


—Mrs. Anonymous

So I don't like the fact that my son is playing with a black person girl, how is this relevant?



Hello, I am contacting you on behalf of my Son. I was told by my son that all of you were mean and vulgar on this website and I want you to remove all of the content that my son might not like! If you do not do this I will persue legal action against you because I do not want you corrupting my son's mind with your vulgar ways, if he starts using the internet he might be exposed to things that give him too much intelligence and he might start getting out of my control. He might even show interest in Females with a sexual intent. This is my ultimatum to you, and expect you to follow it.



Dear BretRockz My son has given me your email address and told me to warn you about you bullying him on the high school musical chat room that he likes to chat on. This is totally inappropriate and very disrespectful and hurtful. You made my son cry for 64 minutes straight last night. He told me that you called him a loser and a retard because he had misspelled one of the characters names in the movie. This is the chat log that he saved.

HSMFanKid: Zack Efron did such a good job in the new high school musical 3 movie.
BretRockz: his name is spelled zac not zack, retard.
HSMFanKid: You can't insult me!! thats against the rules!! I am telling my mother right now.
BretRockz: go tell your mommy, loser.
HSMFanKid has gone offline.
My son is not a "retard" He had put a K on the end of Zac. Easy mistake to make as Zac can be spelled in 2 different ways of Zack or Zac, either way they are both pronounced the same and it is a easy mistake to make. I am very shocked and offended by your behavior to my son. I need you to reply apologizing to my son and give me your parents phone number so I can explain to them what you did to my son on this chat room. I also need to discuss a punishment for you with them.



—Mrs. Anonymous

Dear Mr. Flynn, I am writing to you on behalf of one of my son's classmates, Franklin "Frank" Peters. Frank turned around and began to talk to my son about a hot girl and how pretty her hair was. Please remove "Frank" from your classroom immediately, for fear my son will become a homosexual.


—Mrs. Anonymous

Dear Ms. Francine Waters, My son came to your house to sell his Boyscout's cookies last Sunday. Let it be noted that you were wearing a denim "mini" miniature skirt, a sea-green mock-turtleneck sweater, and brown rubber sandals, or, as the black person may call them, flip-flops. This outfit is extremely revealing and you have exposed my son to far too much of your body. I expect you to go out and buy a suit that actually covers your ankles. Also, please consider wearing colors that are not Day-Glo, as that sea-green could have passed as florescent.


—Mrs. Anonymous


Some parents are over-paranoid when it comes to their kids doing everyday normal things that every other kid does but the unfortunate one is stuck with a parent who is over-protective. For example:

Little Jimmy don't go past our driveway, you might get kidnapped, I don't care if we live in one of the safest neighborhoods in the suburbs nor do I care that we have at least 100 windows on our house so I can easily see your every move."


—Mrs. Anonymous

The paranoia can worsen as the child grows older and starts doing things that an overly concerned mother thinks are too dangerous such as:

  1. Hanging out with friends and talking about girls. (their friends are dangerous and will tempt them with drugs and/or unhealthy snacks!)
  2. Eating non-mashed foods.
  3. Having interracial conversations or talking with foreigners. (black person are dangerous!!!!!)
  4. Going to school without parental supervision. (Holy shit, he's WALKING to school today? Well, better make funeral reservations.)
  5. Going through puberty. (Is that...a HAIR! I need to have that plucked off your precious ballsac at ONCE!!!)
  6. Learning about Evolution.
  7. Eating bread with the crust. (Every mother's worst nightmare)
  8. Watching another news source besides Fox News
  9. Going outside for more than 5-7 seconds. (Strangers may pass by and say hello to them–holy FUCK!)
  10. Potty training. (They'll turn into a SEXUAL DEVIANT!!11!1!!11one!!!!1)
  11. Wearing the color black. (They'll summon the devil!)
  12. Wearing eyeliner. (You'll poke your eye out!)
  13. Saying those curse words they so obviously learned from not watching Fox News. (You'll swallow the soap I wash your mouth out with!1)
  14. Not wanting to wake up early on a Weekend to go to Church after having to wake up at three o'clock AM every day all week to go to a place that sucks anyway with no motivation to begin with. (See School)
  15. Dropping grades due to the intense pressure from everyone in the known universe to get the best grades evar, graduate high school, and go join the army so they can die young.
  16. Having sex before they are 60.
  17. Playing video games as/more violent than Tetris, because everyone knows that those little cubes coming down secretly want to rape each other.
  18. Everything, ever.
  19. Communicating with the opposite sex. Or the same sex–you never know, they might go gay!
  20. Talking to anyone with a opinion differing from their mother's.
  21. ???
  22. No profit.
  23. Money; I don't want you secretly buying stuff without me knowing. It could be something like porn or guns or violent games.
  24. You must bathe or shower wearing clothes.
  25. You can never be naked or see any forms of nudity.
  26. You must pee sitting down, I can't have you seeing or touching a penis even if it's your own. Saying penis in your mother's house counts as well.
  27. You can only watch G rated programs. Though you can't watch the Teletubbies as they are gay.
  28. When watching TV, at commercial break you must mute the tv and look away until your program is back on. I don't want you seeing an inappropriate commercial. Hey, just be grateful that I even let you watch TV.
  29. No talking or looking at darkies. They look like poo and that is too inappropriate for my child to see.
  30. No pets! They might try and rape you.
  31. No talking to girls with tits more then 1 centimeter! You might turn into a sexual predator!
  32. Reading and/or enjoying Concerned Mother or any other Encyclopedia Dramatica article.
  33. Not liking the candidate your mother likes. (Communist!)
  34. Eating anything that's not organic. (This is true, look up Propylene Glycol)

Also, concerned mothers' paranoia is a leading cause of anti-lulz and emo kids. But most sheltered kids will find their way to a computer and spend their time writing in angst against the ideals of a concerned mother.

Video Game!

Concerned mother fails at failing. BALEETED

Concerned mother gets a guy arrested for making coffee neekid in his own house. Says her son saw a dick and is scarred for life.

See Also

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Concerned Mother
is part of a series on


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