Comedy Central or millennial news network, is, as opposed to what its name suggests, the most unfunny television network ever. It consists of The Daily Show (sans Jon Leibovitz), South Park,
The Colbert Report The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore midnight with Chris Hardwick, nine-hour marathons of Mad TV Inside Amy Schumer, moar parody news programs than you can shake a dick at, and on the weekends, more BF-list movies than you could ever imagine. The only reason anybody watches the channel is to catch the new episodes of South Park and Futurama only to be found in the afternoon. Bad comedy movies and failed shows such as Too Late with Adam Carolla clog the airwaves with pestilence, boredom, and death. The only other show which made Comedy Central less unbearable to watch were reruns of Family Guy, but the station heads, in a true display of their infinite wisdom, decided to stop airing it.
Current Comedy Central Line-Up
- 7:00 AM:
Hours and hours of Always Sunny in Philadelphia reruns.
- 9:00 AM: 3 solid hours of very bad amateur standup comedians.
- 12:00 PM That movie you thought about seeing, but then you realize it's not going to be good on cable because of the edits.
- 4:00 PM:
Workaholics (The same four episodes played everyday, all day. Like Always Sunny, despite being moronic shit, it lasted for seven long seasons.)
- 5:00 PM: The Daily Show without Jon Stewart (Leftard jokes and a boring interview.)
- 6:00 PM:
The Colbert Report(Half-hour of the most lulzworthy, blatant satire on TV, which is not saying much, and canceled in 2014 anyway)
- 6:00 PM:
The Nightly Show(lel, Who wants to watch a show with an unfunny nigger? Canceled.)
- 7:00 PM:
Scrubs (Another half-hour of ancient reruns of the same unfunny forced memes and butt secks seen a few hours earlier)
- 7:30 PM:
Drawn Together(lol canceled)
- 8:00 PM:
Ugly Americans(Like every other shitcom wannabe except with monsters. Bad dick jokes gone awry. Canceled.)
- 9:00 PM:
Futurama(Either one of the Bender episodes or the alien episodes, also canceled)
- 9:30 PM: South Park (Either one of the fart-joke ridden episodes or the preachy episodes. Wait a minute, isn't that all South Park is?)
- 10:00 PM: tosh.0 / Reno 911! / moar reruns of South Park (an unfunny look at Internets/Police/Childhood).
- 2:00 AM:
Nothing but 5 solid hours of Girls Gone Wild commercials. (The Colbert Report likes to claim they have cooking product ads on, but it's always Girls Gone Wild. No other network airs these, either.)It's not 2009 anymore idiot.
Notice how most of these are crossed out.
As everyone knows, middle school kids find curse words and the human reproduction cycle hilarious. Since simply saying them would make anyone under the age of 16 laugh it's an easy win for CC. That's pretty much why using shock value is really the only thing the "comedians" really do anymore.
If you're wondering why Gen Y has such a death boner with Faux News or any right wing figure for that matter, look no further. As stated earlier, when those middle school kids went to high school they started believing every word Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, or any late night cable show host said. Sooner or later they got to the point where they started to believe they were actual political commentators and started giving Don Quixote a run for his money. Similar to what was said earlier (about how anyone who says swear words or sex origins gets their own show) it's gotten to the point where pretty much anyone who says Trump's worse than Hitler for 22 minutes gets their own show. This however will slowly be coming to a close because more Americans (a.k.a the viewers parents and breadwinners) are getting rid of cable.
Recently, after a decline in quality, Comedy Central figured since they're scraping the bottom of the barrel they might as well give Amy Schumer work. Thus, Inside Amy Schumer was born. Of course, no one outside of cult of misandry finds her funny and this isn't helping their quality. But CC got to pay the bills. And the customer's always right.
South Park fandom
The only time Comedy Central ever got post Gen X conservative viewers was when they aired South Park (because it's one of the few shows that actually mocks liberals). Everything went smoothly until the geniuses that are Trey Parker and Matt Stone decided to go after their God. Now their ratings are failing.
The Secret Stash
The Comedy Central Secret Stash is basically Comedy Central playing stolen HBO specials, such as Eddie Murphy Raw, which is extremely dated and hardly funny, and the uncut version of Not Another Teen Movie aired very late at night. The only thing different is they can say words like "fuck" after 1 AM Sunday morning.
Once in a while you get to see a series of Dave Chappelle reruns of his standup, and his former wildly successful Chappelle's Show (which is ironic, since Viacom and their boys ran Chappelle out of the country and into Africa, for reasons only the Kennedy Assassination could answer). But for the most part, most Secret Stash shows are Chappelle reruns, below-average comedians who should have never gotten any HBO special, National Lampoon movies, Drawn Together mini-marathons and Girls Gone Wild ads.
- Mind of Mencia
- The Chappelle Show
- The Sarah Silverman Program
- Inside Amy Schumer
- South Park
- Rule 34
- Zach Braff
- Mystery Science Theater 3000, the only good show, but they cancelled it!
- Important Things With Demetri Martin
- Zach Galifianakis
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