Chemistry, in a nutshell, is the science of mixing two brightly colored fluids just to watch them explode.
History of Chemistry
Chemistry is a science that assists in the manufacture of drugs, explosives, and pottery. Without modern chemistry, the entire human race would have rotten teeth, a 30-year life expectancy, and no beer, which is much the same as being English, but with no beer. The best to ever come from chemistry is LSD, the worst to ever come from chemistry was hippies. Which proves that with every win, comes epic fail.
EtOH is a good friend of ours. The ancient Egyptians brewed the first beer, regardless of what those dirty nips say. German chemists perfected the art shortly after, and it's been tasty lulz ever since, except in Iran, where the process was needed primarily for the production of biological weapons and date rape drugs.
Follow the directions precisely.
Without chemistry, armed warfare would be relegated to sticks and rocks. For great justice, be sure to take video of any bomb-making ventures!
Pottery was invented at least 100 years ago by a scholar from Egypt. The early Egyptians noticed that dirt, when wet, can become useful. THIS IS CHEMISTRY! These innovations in early chemistry proved especially useful regarding the creation of drugs.
One more thing the Jews destroy
Grow some felonious crystals, dude!
How to make great looking crystals!
- You'll need around 5-7 pennies (or copper coin from your country) and a straw, put these aside.
- Get a clear jar, scoop 2 tablespoons of salt into it, and 1 tablespoon of baking soda.
- Now the first important ingredient should be in the bathroom cleaning supplies: Ammonia (any brand). Pour it in until the jar is 2/3 of the way full (as tall as you want the crystals to grow)
- The last ingredient is laundry bleach(careful not to spill on your clothes!), fill the rest of the jar.
- Now drop the pennies into the bottom, and quickly take the straw and blow bubbles onto the pennies to get the crystals going. You should begin to see stringy crystals form after about 30 seconds of blowing. That’s it!
- It takes about 10 minutes of steady blowing
- The pink and purple come from the production of Copper Caliphate(CuCO2)using the CO2 in your own breath! (blowing until you're dizzy actually increases the CO2 in your breath, giving better colors)
Good luck! (Warning! Mixing ammonia and bleach together makes chlorine gas. So before you do this, leave a note beside you saying "I did it for teh lulz!")
- Hide from the feds, peer out the windows looking for the secret service. It's been illegal to process coins ever since the US government got so deep in debt, the metal in them is worth more than the coins themselves.
- Lye makes a great eye cleaner.
- You can get drunk off anti-freeze.
- Methanol based wiper fluid makes a good salad dressing.
- Isopropyl Alcohol is a fantastic for hydration, and can get you drunk if the liquor store is closed.
- Hydrochloric acid has the same effect as Viagra.
- Hydrogen Cyanide is an excellent good sleep aid.
Types of Chemistry
Popular subdisciplines of chemistry include:
People who don't believe in chemistry
- Ted Haggard
- Insane Clown Posse as scientists lyin' and gettin' them pissed.
People who do believe in chemistry
- Breaking Bad
- Defense Industries Organization
- The Anarchist Cookbook
Chemistry is part of a series on