Chat Palace

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Cat eyes.JPG
Original logo by the dead

Chat Palace is a chat client made by in the 90's and holy crap it's still active. It was created for 13 year old boys, 16 year old girls, juggalos emos goths and faggots. Seriously, logging in there will make you find all of those packed on a neat little avatar screen. There is even a furry on one of the systems.

What exactly is the Chat Palace?

The chat palace is a very simple chat program, like IRC except you can wear your own 130x130 sized picture. The original client only allowed 265 colors but there are other clients out there for Windows XP and even Linux and Apple that will allow you to wear true color avatars, but people still using the old crappy client won't see those. Instead, they will just see a bunch of lines only other people with truecolor clients with a similar client will see true color avatars.

This is the old client, notice the schlong and tits

The texts pop on the screen next to the person speaking in a cartoonish style, and when you figured out how to wear those avatars you'll prolly want to start wearing avatars with Japanese scat porn or furry's yiffing but this will instantaneously cause an operator, called a wizard on Chat Palace, to ban you. Unless it's European daytime, which is when you can truly flame there, shock 16 year old girls with dong and goatse and tubgirl avatars. Needless to say this is when the drama, trolling and flaming really takes off and before you know it you'll be hooked on flaming every juggalo, goth or queer you meet there. Oh, the palace also has lots and lots of cute jailbait camwhores who are usually half your age.

Is there really much drama on the Chat Palace?

Oh hell yes. Specially when you log in on major palace's such as avatar palace, the mansion or the unfortunately now dead wonderland (dubbed lovingly by it's users as wonderfag) People are always complaining about the wizzes who are sometimes either far in their 60's like on the mansion, or 13 year old kids paying to be able to wiz on avatar palace. To be a wiz on avatar palace you have to pay 10 bucks a month, smooch up to the head wiz Alyssa (who always has centipedes in her vagina, no rly) and you are in. Smooching up to wizzes is never a bad idea on avatar palace, unless you want to instantaneously get banned for saying doodoohead, anus, fuckwad or dong. Sometimes even choosing a name that somehow in some alternate wiz universe seems offensive to them will get you banned. Some primo examples of that include "Dik'88", "Hooterowl" or "Purple_Pussy" and yes they really go that far.

Me (RIAA) and papa phobo on the fuck bus. This actually happened.

Surprisingly though the owners of the Mansion, who are extreme hardcore Christians don't mind such nicknames and will allow you to say fuck every once in a while, don't ban on names like that. They will however ban you for calling a wizard a cunt. Wizard Phyl on the Mansion, who is in her 60s (yes it's a her), can be very cruel like that. Get to know her and suck up a little bit and it will be like most wizzes, you'll be pretty fairly be unbannable and will even be able to 'explain' why you called a fat obese camgirl a fat whore with PMS-AIDS syndrome and get unbanned or unkicked.

Types of People on Palace

There are many different kinds of people on palace, but as mentioned, most are 13 year old boys and camwhores. Obviously, most of the 13 (and older!!) year old boys pretend to be jocks and talk about how they love to play football. In reality, they're all filthy liars who live in fantasy worlds to make up for the fact that they suck and really hate themselves. Sad but true. The other people on palace seem to basically fall into a wide array of stereotypes that seem straight out of a John Hughes movie. These stereotypes include emo, goth, prep, white trash, juggalo, Canadia people and, of course, the basement dwellers who call themselves "thugs". Don't forget hipsters and scene kids!

The Major Palaces

  • Avatar Palace

Now, this is where the aforementioned juggalos, goths, 13 year olds, sluts, beauty school drop outs, recovering (or barely recovering) drug addicts, and all the faggot wizzes on palace hang out.... as well as other sad life forms. You can go on there any time of day and just page the wizzes with fun phrases like "FUCK YOU NIGGER FAGGOT JEW COCKMONGER FAGGOT BITCH" then show the wiz a pic of something gross like goatse until you get raped with propgags, gags, and namegags and forced to just click around on the screen. It is a wonder why this palace full of faggotry and misery is still around. Chatzone 1 is the main attraction. Most users often flock to this room without any question. One room. Twenty Five people (at the most). Things are BOUND to happen! when everyone isn't idle, you can expect some serious keyboard warriors buttfucking away. If you consider entering this room, you should really think about buying a dog and getting a built in security system for your home. Or maybe a facelift, and a side dish of "my mom hates me, my dad raped me, THIS IS WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".

  • Mansion

Probably one of the better palaces on here. There aren't many 13 year olds, but there are still equal amounts of faggots. Since Avatar Palace became popular, the only rooms that are still somewhat active are Hallway 200 and The Slabs (also some unseen wiz room where the wizzes congregate). The Slabs are full of weeaboos and furries that tend to idle A LOT. In Slabs, you can see people like Artic Catboy explaining how he yiffs his underaged e-girlfriend. Now, Hallway 200 has a lot of people that idle a lot and has less faggotry, and when you enter that room be sure to be made the center of hatred of by a bunch of debauched, jaded, e-losers with no lives. Hallway 200 was once so popular that on that server that it consists of 5 different rooms.

    • This faggot Bababooey (yeah what a fucking stupid name right?) decided it would be cool to name a palace after Hallway 200 since he wanted to make a "drama-free zone." So, not being very bright, he decides to name it Hallway 200 C since the real Hallway has letters after each one. And what is palace without drama? He and his other fag comrades really don't get it. So they sit there all day and talk about what life would be like if their palace had more people than Mansion. So this guy pays Avatar Palace like 50 bucks a month to advertise. Good example of Palace faggotry. You should go there and maybe you can get lulz.

  • Palace In Wonderland

Lovingly dubbed "wonderfag," this palace was apparently made by some hippie who listened to the Jefferson Airplane song "White Rabbit" a bit too much. Although this palace is pretty much dead, it deserves mention here, seeing that it was once a great palace.

Notable Palace users

Just kidding. There are no notable or interesting users of Chat Palace.

With the exception of Dangasm, SweetNSour, and Alyssa, nobody gives a shit about anyone retarded enough to use this piece of shit application.

Palace WHORES!!!!

Liz: Yes, those are rolls. And putting your arm over your stomach just makes it more obvious that you are fat, bb.

  • Liz (another//pronoun) - A palace whore unsurpassed. Why everyone is in love with her and wants to e-date her remains a mystery to us, but her followers will fiercely defend her to the death. We're also puzzled as to why her nipples look like they're trying to run away (see right)...Perhaps it is because they're embarrassed to be there. Liz is a mondo-bitch to anyone else even remotely attractive that enters her territory. She has since relocated to the Hallway 200 c Palace. Liz, we suggest getting off the palace and onto a treadmill.

  • BDSM_Somethingsomething.

BDSM_Britt is a Slut. There's really nothing else to say. She has been known to steal boyfriends if said boyfriends' girlfriends looked away for a moment. She currently has a thong collection and she isn't afraid to mention it at any moment. Her vagina is extremely loose as she has whored herself out for lacy women's undergarments. She thinks she is a scene kid and she's a jew.

Yes, those are ribs.
  • Bedtime for Democracy

It is rumoured that she was the biggest druggie and whore around like 2 - 3 years ago and now is "clean" yet she's still on palace talking about the best drugs to take, talking about how shes anorexic. I guess trying to get a burger inside this girl is about as hard as the previously mentioned elephant / oister scenario. Like She keeps saying all her problems like shes proud of it but if anyone says something about it to her she freaks out. She's a fucking train wreck. Also she cuts herself and she taught her little sister how to and now her sister cuts herself. Even though she has a boyfriend and is moving in with him, she still talks about sleeping with other guys. And she will fuck ANYTHING that gives her attention.

  • she wears wigs because of the hair loss she's supposedly suffered from anorexia... lolllll

(11:53:36 PM) Joolz! : stef was laughing (11:53:39 PM) Joolz! : and her wig fel off

Referencing the pictures on this page:

(3:17:15 PM) Bedtime for Democracy : i think that calls for lawsuits
(3:17:20 PM) Bedtime for Democracy : no
(3:17:23 PM) Bedtime for Democracy : they were captures
(3:17:25 PM) Bedtime for Democracy : w/ some program
(3:17:28 PM) The III IX. : ya right
(3:17:33 PM) ;zod. : The Honorable Judge Ed Lollington presiding in internet courtz!

PRO-TIP, Bedtime for Democracy has myspace.

  • Morgan (°º×Pr¹ñçèšs׺°)

Morgan is a notorious Palace whore that has managed to fly under the radar until now. After finishing a session of squatting over hatchets in honor of Violent J, she proceeds to frequent Palace in search of some pixelated e-dick from delicious Juggalolicon. If not participating in the former activities you can find her in a seat in front of the nearest buffet (not in a booth at the buffet, but sitting in front of the buffet itself) making her not only a notorious lolcow, but a cow in all general aspects. Ask for pictures plz and n00dz thou shalt receive! Hope you like cottage cheese.

Gallery of Palass whores:

Doll Making

This doll shows that even during the Holocaust, love still bloomed.

Another interesting subculture of Palace is doll making. 16 year old girls love to make dolls to wear as their avatars. They spend hours upon hours upon days upon weeks crafting their dolls clothings pixel by pixel, which they call "editing". After all that time, they usually wear their doll for a few minutes to earn "cute" and "awsum can i have that?" comments from others. After the comments, they usually take off the doll and start work on a new one. Doll editing involves the use palace's built in editing graphics that, although graphically crappier than MS Paint, is more complex and annoying than reading Japanese instruction manuals to assemble that sybian you ordered off e-bay.

Doll makers usually start with a pre-made Holocaust survivor picture. Feeling sad for the bald headed Anne Frank, they meticulously arrange various shades of pixels until she has a cute black and red goth dress, a blue wig, some whore make up and a cute little pair of bunny ears.

It should also be noted that doll makers seem to avoid a lot of drama, since they usually stay to themselves and also avoid the actual chat windows since they're too caught up in arranging their pixels into pretty, pretty princesses. If you're lucky, you can take over a doll maker's room and delete everything and close the room which angers them to no end, since it gets in the way of their stupid editing.

What type of banninations do they handle?

Crazily enough there is a vast way in which you can get banninated. It can either be a kick or ban. A kick will take about 15 minutes or less, they can however ban you for a long weekend, 24 hours or even 4 life. The new clients or some extra proxy-like client can show you the wizzes and who they are, in Phalanx it's even a baked in option. Get to know the wiz names first before you flame, otherwise the drama will be for a too short time and you won't be able to pum over your own smart elic flaming techniques.

Where to get various clients

PalaceChat a new palace client, expect bugs - Free/Win/MacOSX

The original Chat Palace client - Free/Win/Linux/Apple

Phalanx - Free/WinXP/NT/2000's death - Google cache link

The fancy Mac version seems to be down at bhlabs.

Why did die?

A KeyGen made out of despair when had just died.

The original's chat palace client required a free registration key. This could be obtained from their website. When the company died there was much drama because people couldn't get new keys anymore and if two people tried using the same key logging in to the same Chat Palace server they would instantaneously crash out of it. This caused a lot of drama amongst the users until some people with absolutely no life decided to continue the service on a new url The newer clients fortunately doesn't require such a key anymore.

Oh and yes, why died nobody knows although some people claim the Jews did it.

Palace toolz for mayhem / Cyborg.ipt

Palace Protokill Proxy.

Throughout the years, specially in the beginning of the palace, a lot of tools have been created to cause mayhem and destruction on the palace servers generating much many lulz for the users and despair for the wizzes. The main inspiration for this was the Palace it's scripting language called 'Iptscrae'. Iptscrae is the worst scripting language in the universe because everything is done ass backwards in it, no rly, literally. There are two types of scripting to be done for the palace being:

1. Cyborg.ipt, user client side, for instantaneously painting small things like arrows or hearts much like you would in a painting program with a macro. Or making someone get followed like 4 dildo props, which is more common. Or making another user pop up text balloons and flaming someone trough proxy, making the person go: "omg omg I didn't say that!" and the other party: "of course you didn't, assclown!"

b. PServer.pat, this is run on the server side. Anyone can run a server at home, or have it hosted by a hosting company specializing in palace servers. The PServer.pat file contains the rooms of a palace and what they do. They may also filter out fuck, shit and piss-words. This is where the proxy and hack tools come in.

A good example of censored fuck-words is wonderfaggit. Whenever you say fuck there it gets automatically changed to frootloops, which annoys the living fuck out of any decent troll so he/she would want this unchanged. It is a room script changing fuckwords to frootloops-words, and like a popup-blocker would stop popups from popping up in your browser by filtering out that html or javascript, a palace proxy could filter out a fuckfilter by disabling all roomscripts. One of the first of it's kind was called Protokill, written by some leeb frenchman who didn't want to surrender. Next to protokill you had PalTech, by a moneyhungry he-slut who suddenly asked money for it, his forum was of course flooded with scat and goatse after that. Now there is also PalaceDrug, which is free and free always rocks. So PalTech is pretty much dead now. You can also clone peoples avatars with these known proxy's.

Other nice trolling techniques involved:

You may Derelict my balls, Derek Zoolander.
  • Derelict - Doesn't need to work by proxy, but converts your texts in to ƒö® è×ãmÞlè †hîš, annoying the fuck out of everybody, it can also display what winamp song you are playing or who's sucking your cock.
  • Palace Painter - To make your own paint scripts, for example make the whole room go black or paint pretty swastika's
  • MemberX - For flooding the palace with 10.000 empty users, who can all talk at once. Most hosted palaces are protected from it.
  • Palace Chainsaw - DDOS a palace so that nobody can even log in.

Hacked Clients

Good example of a hacked palace client.

Before big palaces allowed ñãmèš lîkè †hîš there where various hacked clients out there that did allow this. However now a days most big palaces allow these breezer chick camwhore names so they are not needed anymore. Some hacked clients could also clone peoples avatars trough the 'clon command.

Hacked clients may also include different sounds and reshacked images. Which is cool for about 15 minutes, then you will start hating it.

Notorious Palace trolls

Besides sucky people you may also stumble upon other good trolls who are willing to sell their very soul for some good lulz and drama, these people are usually batshit insane and must be perceived with caution. They can either assist you in to pwning someone or troll the living fuck out of yourself. Yes, you are right, this is very similar to ED IRC.

Zack in his never ending quest for azn ass.

Mary also invented the infamous GOMP movement, which stands for Get Off My Palace, believing that other avatars on her screen are invading her privacy. She will also show you her tits on request.

  • Zack is a notorious serial killer, pedophile, faggit and a life time member of NAMBLA , God hates fags and the NRA which was a birthday present to him. He will admit to all these things steadily even though it might be a paradox. He doesn't give a fuck which would be what most notorious trolls would say, but really, he doesn't. It is unknown if he has a sister, but if he had he would be fucking her at any age. Zack is also a lurker on not4chan and will ask you to trade teh loli with him. He is also a 14 year old Japanese girl with a tentacle rape fetish. As a basement dweller he is often found cybering on Avatar Palass with Dirk, his 40 year old dyke internet girlfriend.

Palace Art Club

ALL YOUR BASE! Warning!:
Our art is very important.

A very big appreciater of art and powerful palace artist Papa Phobo has given us, in his infinite wisdom, a Palace Art Appreciation club. Producing powerful art with colleague artists who wish nothing more than to criticize modern civilization and famous artists. Many canvasses where bought or sold on eBay for millions of dollars, making Papa Phobo & Nikki even more rich than Rockefeller.

Their art is widely known and it is rumored that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise recently bought their Anna Nicole piece. Angelina Jolie has one of their pieces hanging in the bed room, which she bought right before her and Bratt Pitt decided to marry.

All art was made using Palace's paint API, which is moar luxurious than PhotoShop and TVPaint combined.

We have decided the art is so damn good we now have a DeviantArt account, you can find it by clicking here.

Palace Art Club Gallery


*** You have been offered an avatar by .echelon;[px]* in Chat Zone 6 (589). To accept it type 'accept
.echelon;[px]*:   dont say that again.
L:                Oh look a fellow EDiot
.echelon;[px]*:    :)
.echelon;[px]*:   or you will be removed.
·÷×(`··£µ®lèñè··´)×÷·: say what again?
.echelon;[px]*:   that link
·÷×(`··£µ®lèñè··´)×÷·: why will i be removed if i give out a link?
.echelon;[px]*:   it's not allowed
.echelon;[px]*:   and that link especially is not allowed


Coley is a typical 16 year old girl from Avatar Palass. While smarter then the wizards at avatar palace, she proves once again that people who use palace can't pass highschool. Emulating Paris Hilton, she fails at grammar and at life. She originates from quote: "coley : i live in the hamptions 139 john gleen" California.

......... NO U !!!!!!!11one!!11!

Some Delicious Copypasta:

(3:02:09 AM) coley : lol a sec ago i was like omg theres a horse next to me. i didnt even notice
it. it scared me. lol

(3:07:13 AM) coley : omg ur name is layke? we have 1 at
our country club and there is a aligator in it
(3:08:37 AM) coley : omg u 2? i just said that maby we go to the same country club!
(3:09:06 AM) coley : do u go 2 the 1 in the hamptions?

(3:09:30 AM) Layke : im a millionaire
(3:09:41 AM) coley : who is?
(3:10:30 AM) coley : omg ur a millionair? my daddy nose a guy whos wife nose a woman who is married
to a guy and hez a billinair
(3:10:46 AM) ;woah its court™` : OH MUH GAWD NO WAY!
(3:10:51 AM) coley : yea way
(3:10:53 AM) coley : !!
(3:10:56 AM) ;woah its court™` : chh no way
(3:11:06 AM) Layke : thats totally like cool
(3:11:16 AM) coley : i no rite!!
(3:11:20 AM) Layke : LIKE TOTALLY
(3:11:20 AM) Layke : omg
(3:11:30 AM) Blender Boy™ : HOLY CRAP WOW
(3:11:34 AM) coley : i no!!

(3:12:24 AM) coley : omg jesus is reding? i hate reading
(3:12:33 AM) coley : lol jesus like gods brother
(3:13:16 AM) coley : lol im not making fun of him but his name is jesus. like jesus like gods brother
(3:13:35 AM) Blender Boy™ : jesus is gods son

(3:18:12 AM) coley : omg my mom is gonna b s0o0o0o mad cuz i was typing and putting on maskara
earlean and i fell and it got all over my carpen
(3:18:21 AM) ;woah its court™` : oh my god.
(3:18:23 AM) Layke : hahahahaha
(3:18:23 AM) coley : so im gonna blame it on my dog
(3:18:38 AM) ;woah its court™` : Yeah your dog just took some mascara and tried to put it on.
(3:18:47 AM) River : yeah
(3:18:48 AM) River : the dog
(3:18:49 AM) Layke : lol omg coley that is SUCH a good idea
(3:18:53 AM) River : he tried to put mascara on
(3:18:54 AM) Layke : its totally like going to soooo work you know?

(3:21:17 AM) coley : omg did u no that the liminited addition silver channell boots r only comming
in sizes 6 and 8? im a 7 so im buying both. how bout yall/

See Also

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