Capital Gazette Shooting

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This page is about an attempted an hero.
Aspergerbenice.gif This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(

Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.

Jarrod Warren Ramos
Nationality: Americunt  MiniflagUSA.png
Highscore Killed 5, Injured 2
Top 50? Doubt it.
Style Single player, FPS
An Hero? No
Motive Public Defamation

The Capital Gazette shooting has been one of the latest of a chain of mass shootings in America as of 2018. The suspect, Jarrod Ramos, is currently in custody.

File:Screenshot 20180629-025056 Twitter.jpg
This all started because Ramos was on a Chris-Chan style lovequest.
Ramos' last bit of crazy before the attack. Interestingly, this was the first time in 6 years he used this account

I cowardly jumped over a dead body and got the fuck out of there


Gazette Photographer Photographer Paul Gillespie

According to reports, the attack began in the mind of crazed, butthurt and angry manchild Jarrod W. Ramos back in 2011 when a columnist for the Gazette started writing about a criminal harassment suit that was brought against him by Ramos.

Being like most of the internets residents, Ramos felt that he had the right to say whatever he wanted against whomever he wanted but nothing negative and true could ever be said about or used against him, so he filed a defamation suit against the columnist, the Gazette's editor and their publisher.

After getting rammed in both holes like a drunken girl at an after-prom party, and told what a floundering idiot he is when both a court and appeals court ruled quickly in favor of the Gazette, Ramos did what every psycho-ass motherfucker does and let his hate stew like a lonely, virginal, angry, trenchcoated teen for 7 years until he finally couldn't take his emo brooding anymore. Finally deciding to have his revenge on the reporter, Eric Hartley and Thomas Marquardt the editor and publisher of the Gazette Ramos decided on shooting up the place that humiliated him ... but his imagined enemies had moved on to greener pastures and no longer worked there.

Ramos The Stalker

Nothing to worry about here

I’ll enjoy seeing @capgaznews cease publication, but it would be nicer to see Hartley and Marquardt cease breathing.



In what began as a yearlong barrage of insults, Eric Thomas Hartley, a staff writer for the Gazette, described in an article the threats and internet stalking against a former classmate of Ramos on FaceBook because she refused his Love Quest invite that led her to fear for her life. After pleading guilty to Criminal Harassment against the former classmate, Ramos found a new target and went after the Gazette, claiming that the article written about him was written in a defamatory nature and designed to display his stalking in a harmful manner that was designed to ruin his reputation and keep him from ever finding a girlfriend.

Using all 8 cylinders of his batshit insanity at his disposal, Ramos starting stalking Gazette editor Thomas Marquardt and in 2012 posted on his Twitter a pic of Marquardt and Senator Barbara Mikulski saying:

Stay away from him @senbarb, He's DOOM. I watched you at the gates of Journalistic Hell. Don't believe me? Check a map.



Despite their fears and suspicions, nothing could be done because, according to police, posting a pic of someone on Twitter and then telling the other person in the pic not to trust them isn't a crime. Ramos had obviously learned from his first run-in with the law because, where his new tweets might be creepy, they weren't threatening so nothing could be done.


archive Reads like a Chris-Chan letter to Game Stop


Five Dead

File:Gezette victims.png
5 more lives were claimed by another shooter.

Their names should be read off as heroes, as it is becoming an all too common occurrence for crazy-ass maniacs like our Islamic friends to think that they can have unpopular subjects removed, commentary on their god halted or change policy and ideals such as the First Amendment with a gun, such as was done with Charlie Hebdo.

The victims of Jarrod W. Ramos' tard rage include:

  1. Rob Hiaasen - 59, a former feature writer for The Baltimore Sun who joined the Capital Gazette in 2010.
  2. Wendi Winters - 65, a community correspondent.
  3. Gerald Fischman - 61, the editorial page editor.
  4. John McNamara - 56, a staff writer.
  5. Rebecca Smith - 34, a sales assistant hired in November.

The two injured people were:

  1. Rachael Pacella -, a reporter who covers education and the Naval Academy
  2. Janel Cooley - a sales representative 

The Attack

File:Load shothun 333.gif
Sacrificing range for stopping power.

Using smoke grenades and a shotgun, Jarrod W. Ramos burst through the front doors of the Capital Gazette looking to finally resolve his long-standing grudge against Hartley and Marquardt who no longer worked there. Journalists, sales reps, and photographers, thinking only of their safety, quickly dove under desks. Some would later describe what happened as a warzone because none of them had never seen blood and guts getting splattered all over the place when a body is cut in half from a close-range shot with a shotgun.

Photographer Paul Gillespie claims he saved the day by bravely ducking under a desk, hiding from the gunman and sharting himself.

I dove under that desk as fast as I could, and by the grace of God, he didn’t look over there, I was curled up, trying not to breathe, trying not to make a sound, and he shot people all around me


Paul Gillespie

Well-concealed in his hiding spot, Gillespie waited until there was a lull in the shooting. Then, instead of shooting back with his gun, that all normal, non-cucked Americans keep on their person as dictated by the right to bear arms, Gillespie ran over the dead bodies of his coworkers to escape to a bank next door and ask the Jews for help. Being that white people and 🇮🇱Jews🇮🇱 were in danger, the police arrived in under five minutes.

I feel like I should be helping to cover it, but I’m a mess


Paul Gillespie, trying to convince himself that he did all he could do

The Trial

The cosplay he wore during the shooting.

As expected with every other mass shooter that gets v&, Ramos plead not guilty immediately after the shooting. About a year after the initial plea, the plea was changed to your typical "not guilty by reason of insanity" plea. However, when he got examined at the mental asylum, the judge and the doctors quickly called bullshit on his claims of mental illness. The following week, Ramos changed his plea to "guilty, but not criminally responsible", which basically means that the only thing the trial is for is to determine if Ramos' brain was too Assburgers-riddled to determine right from wrong (he already admitted to committing the shooting itself).

In July 2021, the jury came to a verdict: he was in fact criminally responsible for the shooting, meaning his Assburgers excuse was BTFO'd. And in September 2021, the jury came back with a sentence: 5 life sentences, plus an additional 350 years (all without the possibility of parole of course). Enjoy prison Jarrod, something tells me you won't like it very much.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Graded score

Graded Score
Kill count: 5/20 5 dead, 2 injured
Accuracy: 16/20
Style: 14/20 Hop in, look for victims, got the job done
Butthurt: 16/20 Failed lawsuit for defamation
Bonus: 20/20 Media (fake news) takedown
Total Score: 71/100 (C)
See full ranking

Wanted Level:

Wantedstar.png Wantedstar.png Wantedstar.png

SWAT police dude.JPG

S.W.A.T. Team


Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: 12 Gauge Shotgun
  • Delivers lethal damage to targets.
  • Secondary: Smoke Grenade
GTA5 Smokegrenade.png
  • Blinds foes so you can sweep in for the kill.
  • Perk 1: Ghost Pro
ATS Ghost Pro.png
  • Invisible against Spy Planes.
  • Perk 2: Steady Aim Pro
  • Raises weapon faster after sprinting or knifing.

  • Spell: Media
Media icon.png
  • Will make all media outlets think twice before public defamation.

Let's Blame This One On Our God Emperor

Using the Fake News idea that RUHROLD RUMPH, by not bending over to the media like every other politician, inspired Ramos to remove lugenpress: liberals, jews and white knights are REEEing that this could have all been prevented if only the U.S. government was more 1984 and policed Twitter looking for and arresting anyone who has ever made a mild threat against a woman. Using multiple alts like an autistic attention whore Ramos impersonated judges, prosecutors and businesses to pretend that they either hated him personally for no reason at all and simply wanted to see him fail and that's why they wouldn't find a case in his favor or he used them to pretend that they supported him. In one nearly prophetic post written almost 18 months earlier, Ramos wrotes that he hoped Judge Moylan lived to see what he has in store. This has led internet detectives to believe that Ramos may have had something planned earlier for the courts but couldn't get past security and so had to replan, targeting the Gazette.

External Links

See Also

Capital Gazette Shooting
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismCyanismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismRepublicanReconquistaSocialismStoner GuruTory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsMarijuana AddictionGround Zero MosqueMarijuana AddictionMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiller TestMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenH.BidenJ.BidenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningJim TraficantDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IIChelsea Clinton Hillary Clinton CleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcConnellMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryDoomsday ClockG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communities

Capital Gazette Shooting
is part of a series on
Fox News

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Capital Gazette Shooting is part of a series on FAKE NEWS

[Quit LyingSpread Propaganda]

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Anchors and Contributors

Brian WilliamsCasey NeistatHillary ClintonJack ThompsonKeith OlbermannKurt EichenbaldLaura LoomerMundaneMattRachel MaddowRi Chun-heeSargon of Akkad


Amy SchumerAnita SarkeesianAntifaAtheistsBaby BoomersBernie SandersBlack Lives MatterBob ChipmanBrianna WuCarlos MazaComicsgateDan HarmonFacebookFat Acceptance MovementFedora tippersGamergateGeorge SorosHollywoodInstagramJim SterlingJohn OliverJoss WhedonJustin RoilandKathy GriffinKristen SchaalLena DunhamLeslie JonesLGBTLiberalsLindsay EllisMaddoxMark ZuckerbergMillennialsMuslimsPaul FeigPayPalQuinton ReviewsRebecca SugarSarah SilvermanScorching-whirlwindShia LaBeoufSocial Justice WarriorsSoy WarsStarbucksStephen ColbertSusan WojcickiTara StrongTrevor NoahTumblrTwitterWikipediaWil WheatonYouTubeZoe Quinn


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Stuff They Rely On

CensorshipCommunismGun Control#MeTooVideo game journalismWorld Economic ForumAcademiaWeed


Donald TrumpMass shootingsTerrorismWar on TerrorWorld War III

Capital Gazette Shooting is part of a series on HSTButton.png
[Game Over][Insert Coin]
Ranked Mode (Single Player)

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCharles Whitman's TumorCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyFort HoodJack Gilbert GrahamJames HubertyJeffrey DahmerLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSagamihara StabbingsShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWoo Bum-kon

Casual Mode (Single Player)

Aaron AlexisAlexandre BissonnetteAli David SonbolyAnton Lundin PetterssonAurora Theatre ShootingBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCharles BishopChris Harper-MercerConnor BettsDallas Sniper AttacksDavid KatzDavid Malcolm GrayDavid LongDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDerrick BirdDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerÉric BorelFrank JamesGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniGian Luigi FerriIlnaz GalyavievJake DavisonJames Alex FieldsJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russel HouserJosef FritzlKhalid MasoodKimveer GillKip KinkelLam Kor WanMamoru TakumaMarc LepineMark BartonMark EssexMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael Kenneth McLendonMichael RyanMikese MorseMr. SaariNghtmrchld26Nikolas CruzPekka-Eric AuvinenPennsylvania School StabbingRamadan Van ManRandy StairRobert BalesRobert BowersRobert HawkinsRobert LongRobert SteinhäuserSantino William LeganSayfullo Saipov2017 Saint Petersburg Metro bombingThe Twinkie ManThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTJ LaneTrystan Andrew TerrellUnabomberWade Michael PageZhao ZeweiZug Massacre

Co-Operative Mode

1-14 Jakarta AttacksBoston Marathon BombingCharlie HebdoColumbineHiroshima and NagasakiJews did WTCPearl HarborSan Bernardino shootingSandniggers in ParisSri Lanka 2019 Terrorist AttacksTimothy McVeigh

Sid Meier's Civilization

Adolf HitlerAugusto PinochetCharles MansonHeaven's GateHolocaustJonestownJoseph StalinKim Il-sungMao ZedongOsama bin LadenPol PotSaddam HusseinWacoWorld War II

Banned From Scoring

Asa CoonBilly MitchellBrian Isaack ClydeJohn EarnestLogan ClarkNasim AghdamSam HydeSol PaisTodd RogersWilliam Atchison

[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]
Capital Gazette Shooting is part of a series on Gun Control
Locus in quo:

Abilene Alleyway Shooting 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Chris Dorner 🔫 Christchurch mosque attacks 🔫 Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 David Long 🔫 Dayton shooting 🔫 El Paso Walmart Shooting 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 Gilroy Garlic Festival Shooting 🔫 Jacksonville Shooting 🔫 Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Santa Fe High School Shooting 🔫 Shoahdown at the Synagogue of Doom 🔫 Las Vegas shooting 🔫 Texas church shooting 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 Virginia Beach Shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫


Barack Obama 🔫 Christians 🔫 Concerned Mothers 🔫 Democrats 🔫 Dianne Feinstein 🔫 Government 🔫 The Kennedys 🔫 Kurt Eichenwald 🔫 Faggots 🔫 Liberals 🔫 Michael Bloomberg 🔫 Jews 🔫 SJWs 🔫 Sensitive people 🔫 Tara Strong 🔫 Trayvon Martin 🔫 Quinton Reviews

Main ideas:

Assault Rifle 🔫 Gun 🔫 Gun Control 🔫 Murder 🔫 Arson 🔫 Bombs 🔫 Mass Shooting 🔫 School Shooting 🔫

Haters gonna hate:

Daisy Hogg 🔫 Killers 🔫 Republicans

Acts of revenge:

Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting


Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama Bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre 🔫

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Columbine 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Breivik

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You're gonna love this article, believe me.
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Featured article July 01 & 02, 2018
Preceded by
Capital Gazette Shooting Succeeded by
Jewnited States of Americunts