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Disclaimer: This article was not written by a physician, phlebotomist, prostitute, scientist, or other personal qualified to work with your bodily fluids. The information contained herein is not meant as a substitute for the advice of a doctor, shaman, scientist, priest, close buddy or even lawyer. This article's high sad fact to lulz ratio should not be mistaken for absolute truth. Instead, add more drama and lulz.

"I don't feel the sickness yet, but it's in the post. That's for sure. I'm in the junkie limbo at the moment. Too ill to sleep. Too tired to stay awake, but the sickness is on its way. Sweat, chills, nausea. Pain and craving. A need like nothing else I've ever known will soon take hold of me. It's on its way." -- Renton, Trainspotting, a movie every junkie has seen. You don't have to feel this way!

Or this way: "Since I was on remand, they've had me on this program, this state sponsored addiction. Three sickly sweet doses of methadone a day instead of smack. But it's never enough. And at the moment it's nowhere near enough. I took all three this morning and now I've got eighteen hours to go until my next shot. I've got sweat on my back like a layer of frost. I need to visit the Mother Superior for one hit. One final hit to get us over this long, hard day." -- Renton, again.

Lucky for you, junkie, there's BUPRENORPHINE!

PROTIP: Do not take buprenorphine preparations if you are high on another opiate, or you will be in a world of hurt!

Buprenorphine is a relatively new semi-synthetic opiate derived from thebaine, the black sheep of opium derivatives, overshadowed by its more famous big brothers morphine and codeine. It is approximately 25 to 40 times stronger than morphine and has a half life of approximately 37 hours. Buprenorphine-containing drugs are taking the place of methadone in the U.S. and several other countries in opioid replacement therapy, a medical practice that involves taking a person who is addicted to heroin, oxycodone containing drugs such as Percocet or OxyContin, a.k.a hillbilly heroin, or hydrocodone containing products such as Lortab or Vicodin, Dr. House's favorite and putting the addict on a monitored dose of another less appealing, but more-or-less satisfying opiate. Let's compare your opiate of choice with buprenorphine. Your opiate of choice makes you feel awesome. It's like the most delicious of your favorite delicious cake, moist and spongy, buttery and yummy, with the perfect amount of sugary, fatty icing, the kind of cake you find behind glass at a gourmet food store like Dean and DeLuca. The buprenorphine would be like a dry sheet cake with cracked icing, sitting on the clearance rack at the Wal-Mart bakery. But hey, it's cake, and it satisfies the craving. So what if Dr. House said something to the effect that whoever created buprenorphine as a substitute for Vicodin should rot in hell while he was puking into a toilet in rehab? It works better than the two Vicodin House was slipped in jail by Dr. Wilson. That was simply a plot device to show that House had won again. So don't be a dupe, take the bupe, dude.

Medical Preparations of Buprenorphine

All of these preparations are made by the British pharmaceutical firm Reckitt Benckiser, formerly Reckitt and Colman. Buprenorphine is listed as a Schedule III drug by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency, which means that prescriptions can be called in by your doctor with up to two refills. So you don't have to stand in line at a clinic with borderline withdrawal at 7:30 in the morning to get a daily dose like those cunts on methadone. Some argue that methadone is tastier, but who wants to stand in a line with a bunch of stinking drug addicts like you, having to take abuse from bitchy nurses?

8mg Suboxone tablet
  • Suboxone is the form of buprenorphine used for opiate replacement therapy. It is a combination of buprenorphine and naloxone, and it comes in two different strengths, 8mg buprenorphine/2mg naloxone, and 2mg buprenorphine/0.5mg naloxone. Both tablets are hexagonal and orange. The 8mg strength has "N8" written on one side, and sword logo on the other side. The 2mg strength is identical, except it has "N2" written on one side. The naloxone is an opiate antagonist mixed with the buprenorphine so that if a Suboxone patient tries to crush and inject the pill, he or she will get no effects. The correct way to use Suboxone is to let it dissolve sublingually (under one's tongue). This is the only way to use it, and it tastes like lime flavor combined with the backwash from an old can of Schlitz.
  • Subutex contains only buprenorphine and is also used for opiate replacement therapy. It is primarily used in inpatient detox programs, because it does not contain the naloxone that prevents the drug from being used in unintended ways. It comes in two doses, 8mg and 2mg. Both forms come in a white oval tablet with either "N8" or "N2" written on one side. The other side has a sword logo on it in both doses.

Both of these forms have a ceiling effect, meaning 32mg is the maximum amount that will work in any given day.

  • Temgesic is a preparation of 0.2mg buprenorphine for sublingual use as an analgesic (painkiller).
  • Buprenex is a preparation of buprenorphine for parenteral (injectible) use, 0.3 mg/ml.
  • Transdermal patches of buprenorphine have also been approved for use in Europe for chronic pain.

Buprenorphine in any form has a "blockade effect," meaning that it binds to opiate receptors in the brain more readily than other opiates. If someone were to take buprenorphine and then try to take another opiate on top of it, the second opiate will not work as well as it usually would.

How do I score some bupe, dude?

This guy needs some bupe. Kate needs a sandwich. A sandwich made with cock.
I don't think bupe could fix this. Maybe some spackle, a paper bag and a crate of Ritalin would work.

It's remarkably easy. It's even covered by some health insurance, even Medicaid. All you need is a serious addiction to heroin or prescription painkillers and a doctor who can prescribe Suboxone, which is the form of bupe you will most likely get. Not every doctor can prescribe Suboxone, but it doesn't take a pain management specialist, a psychiatrist, or an addiction specialist. Any licensed physician can prescribe Suboxone if he or she has taken an eight-hour continuing education course on how to prescribe it and treat addicts with it. Your own general practitioner may be able to prescribe it. If your own doctor can't or won't, there are thousands that can and will. Just go to Google and type in "Suboxone doctors" and you will get about 6.48 million hits. There is often a waiting list because the law limits the number of patients one doctor can treat with Suboxone to 100. Get on as many local waiting lists as you can, and you'll soon be on your way to sticking hexagonal orange pills under your tongue instead of hairy cocks in your mouth for smack. Tell your doctor how much of what drug you take and how often you use and, for once in your sordid life, junkie, tell the truth or maybe embellish a bit so you will be properly medicated. Soon you will be a Clockwork Orange instead of watching the clock, waiting on your man. It will also take care of much of your physical pain, as it is, after all, an opiate. So, your badly-set formerly broken arm you injured just to get pain meds won't hurt as much.

One of the downsides of taking buprenorphine for opiate replacement therapy is that you have to see a therapist every two weeks to get your precious prescription. It is doubtful, however, that you will do anything about it, junkie, because you want your drugs. It may not be a downside, though, since this would be a prime opportunity to discuss your lust for little boys and/or horse cock to someone who is legally obligated to keep your secrets as long as you make it clear that you have no intention to act on those filthy impulses.

One Wacky Way To Get Buprenorphine

How to shoot smack, courtesy of the NYPD.

This copypasta below is probably not the best way to explain your drug use to your doctor, unless you are batshit insane, but if you can remember all the detail below, your doctor might just buy it. Sauce is the blog of Some Guy. If you can't understand the medical terminology below, try using TOW or an actual old media book of medical terminology.

Fuck the DEA

I have extreme loathing for the Drug Enforcement Administration because they bully physicians over prescribing controlled substances and actually track closely the number of controlled substance prescriptions written by physicians. Then they take the ones that prescribe the most and call them in for a hearing. Some doctors around here have lost their licenses or had them suspended for "overprescribing."

So, I'm going to use my freedom of speech to explain a hypothetical method of extracting pure opiates from combination pills like Vicodin or Lortab and obtaining a liquid that can be ingested, injected intramuscularly, intravenously (mainlining), or subcutaneously (skin popping).

I don't recommend that anyone do this, as it is illegal and dangerous. I'm only acting as a journalist reporting what I know. I used to be a member of the Senate and House of Representatives Press Gallery, so I still consider myself a journalist. I am making a point. I can imagine that someone whose pain is undertreated may turn to this extreme behavior.

I can't believe I took that whole bottle!

Equipment needed:

  • Centrifuge (Lol wut?)
  • Test tubes or Vacutainer tubes.
  • Isotonic saline (like contact lens fluid).
  • Opiate tablets such as percocet, Lortab, Vicodin.
  • 3cc or 5cc syringe with 13 gauge needle.

Since opiates are soluble in water and acetaminophen and talc and other fillers are not, all you have to do is drop the tablets in a test tube with enough saline to dissolve them. All you have to do is shake and wait. Then take another tube and fill it with as much liquid as the other tube, for balance. Put the tubes opposite each other in the centrifuge, and spin it until you have a sediment on the bottom and a clear supernatant liquid on top. This clear liquid contains the hydrocodone or oxycodone. Pour the supernatant liquid into another tube. Then take the syringe and draw up the liquid. If you wish to inject it, tie a tourniquet around your arm (a belt or big rubber band would work), pump your fist, find the vein, palpate it, swab the area with alcohol, then insert the needle. If you see blood "flash" into the syringe, draw up some blood to mix with the liquid, then slowly and steadily push the plunger and inject the liquid. If you do not see a flash, pull out, take off the tourniquet, pump your fist, put on the tourniquet again, and repeat the above process.

I've never done this, but this is how I imagine it could be done since I was trained as a phlebotomist and lab tech, and have watched the movie "Trainspotting." The above in no way reflects any reality, and it is the product of my imagination. I have never, and would never do this.

So, this guy is a phlebotomist journalist who has seen Trainspotting too many times. Would you let him anywhere near you with a needle? As absurd as it sounds, the story above worked for the above-mentioned Guy.

Recreational Use of Buprenorphine

Don't take too much of me with bupe, or you may end up taking a dirt nap.
Yes, you can shoot Subutex, since it contains no naloxone.

Buprenorphine is apparently used recreationally, although it's hard to understand why with all the better shit out there. Users sometimes report a feeling of general well being, perhaps even to the point that they may become more outgoing or talkative. Due to the high potency of tablet forms of buprenorphine, only a small amount of the drug need be ingested to achieve the desired effects, unless you are very familiar with Chasing The Dragon. The most common buprenorphine preparation, Suboxone, comes in a hexagonal tablet for sublingual administration that has a horrific lemon-lime flavor which tastes so bad it's a chore to take it if one his taking his or her maintenance dose and is not in withdrawal. Eight mg Suboxone is orange, and 2 mg Suboxone is gray. Subutex is unflavored and very bitter.

Buprenorphine abuse is very common in Scandinavia, especially in Finland and Sweden. In 2007, the authorities in Uppsala county in Sweden confiscated more buprenorphine than cocaine, ecstasy and GHB. Intravenous administration of dissolved Subutex pills and insufflation of pulverized pills are the most common means of recreational buprenorphine use in Sweden. In Finland recreational use of buprenorphine is on the rise. In 2005, Finland's incidence of the abuse of Subutex, which is almost always injected intravenously there, surpassed the incidence of recreational usage of amphetamines. Maybe the dumb Swede stereotype in America is true, and they don't know how to distribute Suboxone instead of Subutex. You can't shoot Suboxone, Olaf; at least you can't get high. Dubai Ruler himself used such opiate drug in order to get rid of people he did not like such as his Father, daughter & son. All what Sheikh Mohammed needed to do is royal access to hospital inventory followed by a careful trial-and-error of doses in increments on top of dinner dressing. The Result is such opiate drug effect is increased in 10 folds for each 50mL of Ethanol placed in doses.

Taking buprenorphine, a partial-agonist opioid, while high on a full-agonist opioid like oxycodone or hydrocodone while not already in withdrawal will trigger an extremely intense form of opioid withdrawal called "precipitated withdrawal" or "precipitated withdrawal syndrome" that cannot be reversed by high doses of any other opioid and will be increased in intensity if increased doses of buprenorphine are administered. This form of intense withdrawal may last anywhere from four to approximately thirty-six hours. PROTIP: Do not take buprenorphine if you are high on another opiate, or you will be in a world of hurt!

In the United States, junkies do buy buprenorphine preparations from street pharmacists, but they don't use it to get high. They use it when they are out of their preferred delicious cake and need something to stop the pain of withdrawal. Buprenorphine will give you a bit of a buzz the first week you use it if it is prescribed for you, but after that, taking it is a pleasure-free experience, much like receiving a handjob from your wife or long-term girlfriend.

Fun Video

The relaxing music and what appears to be a waterfall in the background make this a good video. The guy's accent and the sound delay make this a great video! It's ironic, of course, that he says that he feels "free and pure" even though he's just traded one opiate for another.

"TYROCO sez: "Painkillers are the blood of the devil. Every painkiller you take is a drop of Satan's blood."

External Links

Now that you're hooked on buprenorphine

"The truth is that I'm a bad person. But, that's gonna change - I'm going to change. This is the last of that sort of thing. Now I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm gonna be just like you. The job, the family, the fucking big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die." -- Renton



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