Brandon Hilton

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His ass.
"Brandon Hilton stole my look!"

Brandon Hilton, or Brandon Barnett before the faggot got his name UNofficially changed, is a faggot Chris Crocker wannabe attention whore and failed MySpace celebrity from the fabulous state of South Carolina. He thinks he's hawt and continually has new modeling photos taken of him posing like the other homosexual he's imitating, Jeffree Star. Brandon Hilton's most recent mission is to try to upset Fred Phelps and the God hates fags crowd. However, since Hilton can do nothing but produce internets faggotry, and Phelps is only slightly younger than God itself, his mission is deader than your average Welsh emo kid. Hilton is reported to care a lot about his internet reputation, which he has done a fantastic job of playing up.

  • He currently resides in Fort Worth, Texas and works at North Park Mall in Dallas. Charlotte, North Carolina
  • Most of his songs are dubbed Armin van Buuren rip-offs.
  • Brandon self-released his own n00dz - all 4.5 inches for imaginary fans at
  • There is a picture of him with Paris Hilton - what he fails to mention is: along with the $20 cover-charge at a Dallas, TX nightclub, Paris was taking pictures with the first 200 people in the door.

Friendwhoring Faggotry

Brandon Hilton has thousands of MySpace "friends". While most of these are 16-year-old girls and transsexual fucktards, some others are Hilton's sockpuppets he made solely for the purpose of being an attention whore. He thinks he's hardcore because he claims he'll delete people from his friendlist who don't talk, which is a lie designed to make people comment him.

Hilton claims that he invented the term internet celebrity on MySpace, but EDiots know better:

Internet modeling Faggotry

Brandon Hilton is a real model.

Brandon Hilton has a fetish for taking modeling pictures. It's a common symptom of internet disease that manifests itself IRL once the infected person walks away from their mirror or their camera phone battery dies. Hilton traveled to Florida, the cock of the United States, to have modeling pictures taken of him. He apparently thinks that posing with cotton candy is sexy, when all it does is further highlight how much of a lol-cow he is. He also modeled for a terrorist organization, and is a friendwhore on ModelMayhem.

Like all good famous gays, Brandon Hilton has tried his hand at a makeup line. Of course, he thinks that people will buy it because of his incessant SSP. It is made from 100% all natural ingredients and is thus toxic. Some argue contact with it can cause spider expertise.

Musical Faggotry

1 - my music is now on iTunes, a stupid person once told me that my music was shit, and I'd never be considered a real artist, until my music was on iTunes. I'd love to see their face right about NOW!


—Hilton, on becoming a star

A self-proclaimed "musician," Hilton offers on his many myspace pages his "art" for everyone's consumption. The stark beats and minimal compositions are well-complemented by his voice, which — actually it's predictably crap. Watering down the already diluted electronic music genre, he posts generic weak techno beats, already overused synth programs, and vocals that are so autotuned that T-pain himself would weep. Essentially there is absolutely no talent involved, the loops are likely all out of the box and the lyrics are more or less him describing various acts of gay sex. His crowning musical achievement, however, would have to be labeling a song as an acoustic version when it contains not a single acoustic instrument. Among other things he is constantly partying with other performers and collaborating with acts such as Lady GaGa. Because we all know how much time Lady GaGa has for a big-time celebrity such as Mr. Hilton.

My bootyhole... my bootyhole... my bootyhole...


—"My Bootyhole", yes, he looped a sample talking about his filthy browneye


Anonymous has been trolling Brandon Hilton on the Jew Tubes for great justice, resulting in the unexpected deletion of many of the videos, but he has now made his less than triumphant return to YouTube. Brandon briefly quit the Internet after finding this article, and after the disastrous results of his Arbchat, and temporarily deleted his YouTube. Being an attention whoring faggot, Brandon quickly re-opened his channel the following year, in 2010. The video with the most views (59,000) is so ear-rapey as to warrant exclusion. This one with 43,000 views is representative of his hard work and talent:


The TL;DW video below was the subject of a 2013 cringe thread on le reddit. Perhaps the best part of the video is at 07:25 when Hilton tells the seated man he's dancing for to get up, so that Hilton could sit there. The man breaks out his dance moves which, hilariously, are better than Hilton's.


The comments on the Reddit thread are worth reading, especially this one:

Haha. I know him. The best moment of my life was describing him to a friend who was like, "wait... I read about him on ED!"

He's cringeworthy, but he's a sweetheart. <3 unlike his boyfriend who hates me. :)


annaftw, drooling over her Internet idol

Drama, TL;DR, and other crap

Brandon is known for posting TL;DR MySpace bulletins about the drama he invents, to try to make himself think someone actually gives a shit about him. The amount of fail in these bulletins is extreme. It is unlikely that anyone has actually read all the way through one of these bulletins since they are so pathetic.


Subject: I'M HUMAN TOO........ gossip, my nudes, drama, WHY?

Body: Ok so there are a few things that I need to address, I just havent had the time to sit down and actually type it all out.

So Here Goes:

1 - my music is now on iTunes, a stupid person once told me that my music was shit, and I'd never be considered a real artist, until my music was on iTunes. I'd love to see their face right about NOW!

2 - I'm in Stephen Bryant's new music video for his song - TOY SOLDIER that comes out on Dec. 1st on Logo and will be played in American Eagle stores over the Holidays. It's super exciting for me, and was awesome working with him and the crew.... I cant tell you what I do in the video, but its super skanky, super amazing, and super controversial.. This video will blow Katy Perry out of the water.

RAWR! and now on to the business side of things.

Ok last night, I wrote a very very long bulletin addressing everything thats going on in my life right now. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about...

When I posted the bulletin, it flopped and it didn't post... what a waste of an hour... but here goes again...

I'm not depressed at all, so don't think that.

My life is peachy fucking keen. My dreams are coming true, and my plans are finally going into motion to produce a product that I am finally pleased with.

I have molded the Brandon Hilton image like putty for 2 years now, and its finally coming together to be something profitable and successful.

BUT MORE THAN THAT, I've become a Role Model. and an Icon to teens and youth. AND THATS WHAT REALLY COUNTS.

Thinking back 2 years ago, I never saw any of this coming. NONE OF IT.. honestly I think it may have even been a joke to me at first.

But it was something I wanted to happen, and really wanted to try and achieve, and I def. made my dreams a reality.

On to the POINT...

Lately it seems like every where I turn someone is out to get me, or use me, or be me, or steal from me, or hate me for no reason. Every time I log on, theres 100 messages asking me if I've read so and so's blog about me, or the latest TABLOID GOSSIP LIE on a stupid website.

I dont have time to sit around and google myself anymore. That was fun a year ago, but now I'm actually busy, and have a life, and a real carreer. I AM a professional model, and people can joke around all they want, b/c 1 year ago, I def was not. BUT AM NOW PAYED TO DO IT... Am now scouted out on websites to be in video's, shoots, covers, the face of my own cosmetic line.

And people cant take that away from me. THEY CANT DENY that I'm becoming one of the most photographed people on the Internet with the exception of like 2 people and Audrey Kitching. People cant deny that my dreams are finally becoming a reality.

But with that success, and with that "(fame)" comes more haters, and more negativity. And thats becoming hard to handle. It doesnt hurt b/c NONE OF IT IS TRUE.... Its all bullshit thought up by jealous gays who wish they were as successful and attractive as I am... ITS THE TRUTH... They have no reaosn to hate me, NO ONE DOES.... I dont set out to hurt anyone, I keep to myself, I am friendly and nice to EVERYONE. I have a huge heart, TOO BIG MOST OF THE TIME... and I guess thats what people take advantage of.

..FOR EXAMPLE -.. I walked and performed in a Fashion Show on Sunday night, and one of the models called my friend who sponsored and planned the show, and got herself added to the show, but she talked alot of shit about me, and told her that I was bad to work with, and was mean to people (keep in mind she is telling all of this to one of my REALLY good friends!) etc. etc. BUT THEN.... when the girl came to the show, and got in hair and makeup, and actually talked to me, and got to know me, she realized that I was nothing like those people wrote that I was. THOSE PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW ME.... Have never met me, so how in the hell can they say how I am. THEY DONT KNOW ME...

The point of that was, Me and her talked, and she discovered that nothing you read about me is true.

and whats worse.

Its pisses me off to know that my 12, 13 and 14 year old fans, can stumble upon that non-sense, and read it and potentially be altered by lies and bullshit. Their minds are still impressionable they are still developing, they are in super fragile times of their lives.

And to read something like that about your Role Model, or Idol, and even someone you like in general can be mentally disturbing. AND FOR IT TO BE A BUNCH OF LIES... and for me to think that I could potentially lose an amazing fan over a fucking lie DISTURBS ME...

I'd hate to think that people as a whole are that ignorant, and I cant help but wonder why the idiots writing all that shit are so pathetic that they need to hate on people who are simply living out dreams and doing what they've always wanted to do.

For all the time it takes to research and make up lies about me and post them, you could be doing something with your own life.

Hate gives you wrinkles, and I dont have time or money for botox!

It just builds and builds and builds until you finally SNAP! and I really needed to vent and address these things.... IT BOTHERS ME...


I never once called myself FAMOUS, everyone else did... and then it kinda happened...


Some pretty revealing pictures of me have leaked on to the internet, on several stupid pathetic blog sites, ran by several stupid pathetic people.

And everyone keeps asking me "WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT?"

and this is my answer.....

When you love someone, sometimes you do stupid things for them to make them happy, and when I travel for a living, sometimes I cant always be with the person who I loved.

That person missed holding me, kissing me, touching me, loving me, and I took those pics simply b/c I loved that person in return. And he asked me too.

At the time I was no where near as popular as I am now, at the time, I never once considered the pics to be a big deal, or that ANYTHING like this would happen. and at the time I didnt really care b/c I loved that person.

But when people go their seperate ways, sometimes things like that come back to haunt you, and when that person realized he could get fame, money, or even promotion by giving the pics out. He didnt once reconsider stooping as low as to post them.

I think everyone knows by now that I am not as low as any of my haters, I rarely even name them, and rarely ever attack back simply b/c I dont have the time, and dont really CARE ABOUT THEM...

But what this person did HURTS, and it doesnt hurt b/c of everyone's ability to see the pics. B/c lets face it, I have an amazing body, and an amazing piece. I'm not ashamed at all..

What hurts is the fact that I loved someone, and whether we were still together or not that person betrayed that trust, and tried to hurt me by posting something like that.

I'm a MODEL. maybe you missed that, I walk around NAKED for a living, it was bound to happen eventually. But I didnt expect it to happen b/c of someone I loved by fame or money hungry.. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO ANYONE....

and thats what hurts..

So when you ask how I feel... I'M HURT... and what do I have to say about it? I SAY THAT I'M SORRY PEOPLE AS A WHOLE ARE THAT PATHETIC...

and to the people who run those pathetic sites... "F YOU!" you got the biggest, most commented and controversial story that you probably EVER will... ENJOY IT! you'll be shut down soon...

And the people who run the site are simply pathetic losers anyway, who constantly write a new post about me every other day, b/c they are jealous of my success, beauty, and talent.. KEEP POSTING.. and I'll keep laughing..

You'll never knock me down, b/c when you look up, THERE I WILL BE.... on your conputer screen, your TV screen, in your magazines.. and I'll NEVER STOP!

whats even funnier as how half of them have tried to add me on myspace, saying they are sorry and blah blah blah... and I just love the face that I have to approve my requests..

b/c the DENY button is a beautiful thing...


I hope this answered all of your questions.. I DONT WANT A PITTY PARTY FROM ANYONE... I just needed to vent, and tell everyone how I was feeling.

and what I was REALLY going through.

This month has been one of the best and worst ones of my entire life.. I've lost alot of people that I loved, been hurt by some of the people closest to me, but gained alot. Knowledge, Power, Success, and even more AMAZING new friends... Jen, Shea, Von, Nick, Gary, and everyone else... I LOVE YOU ALL..

- BH xoxoxo


I cant respond to messages right now...

I just would like everyone to know. HOW I FEEL for once... people always attack, but they never stop to think how people would actually feel if the same thing were done to them..

Needless to say, Brandon's faggot fanbois were pleased to hear about his n00dz being leaked, and over 9000 of them collectively drooled at the sight of his manorexic body and gross cock. This supposed horde of fans is welcome to upload them here, because he successfully sought their deletion under the former regime.

Brandon Hilton gets butthurt by the drama he invents, and tries to be an internet tough guy to not act like he enjoys being butthurt (though it's painfully obvious it's what he lives for).
I don't care to be called a fag This was once an amusing Photoshopped image clearly created and used "for purposes such as criticism", but once more some tool abused the law to have it removed.
It looked a bit like this.
Brandon Hilton meets 2girls1cup.


Brandon "Hilton" Barnett went to Gettys D. Broome High School in Spartanburg, South Carolina. Many who remember Brandon before the days of internet glamour remember him as either a "fake gay," who simply used "his sexuality" as a ruse to make girls comfortable around him so he could fondle, and in the case of a rumored one or two, fuck, or at least make-out with them, or they remember him in the earlier high school years and later middle school as completely straight, lashing out at others for doing things that seem girly or gay. Even his own sister is unsure.

Local gay men who had dated him described him as a "tease." It's entirely possible his entire internet persona is just an image he's projecting to gain attention. IT'S A COMPLETELY NEW CONCEPT!!!

These speculations all were unfounded, as is obvious by looking at him. Last Thursday it was CONFIRMED: Every Tuesday he attends the gay bar, JR's Bar & Grill in Dallas, Texas "New-Comers" drag show with drag-wannabe Morgan Von Dee - itself being a drag-queen who works at Burger King as a cashier by day. Brandon has moved to Charlotte, North Carolina with his new sugar daddy.

Reaction to this article

More information: Arbchat with Brandon's manager

Some faggot by the name of Matthew Nalett who promotes awful music wants to eliminate anything informing the masses of how Brandon acts when he is not producing ear-rape material. Unsuccessfully blanking this article, he believes that we are reasonable people and will simply remove this horrible "defamation of character" or let him remove it himself. After being b&, he subscribed to the ED mailing list and sent out the following e-mail:

Dear Sysop's

Hello i had removed all the Defamation of Character for Brandon Hilton on The Website and i was blocked by Raspberry Rush. Can you unblock me below thanks. My nickname is NewMusicPromote i own 2 music networks in chicago and deal with talent. Your current IP address is, and the block ID is #40530


—Matthew, asking for it

However, not content with just attracting the attention of the mailing list, he even decided to pay a lovely visit to ED IRC and bitch to the sysops for a second time. Knowing the potential energy of the situation, he was happily invited to Arbchat to present his case before the ED High Council and His Honour Andrew Weevlos, Esq. Unfortunately for him, he did not hire an attorney at lol and believed he knew the law. Matthew was given two options, which were donating a small amount of jewgold or having one of his artists create a song about ED. Some even offered to help him with the lyrics. Matthew refused both, essentially putting the final nail in the coffin. He was assraped and the High Council ruled that Matthew loves dicks.

Crying to mommy when daddy doesn't give you what you want, Matthew made a phone call the next morning to the company that hosts ED and gave one unfortunate employee the same bitchfest that caused his Arbchat session to go down the shitter and end up in this article. Like Brandon's attempt at music, Matthew's plan failed.

If either side has learned anything, it is that this page would have never been article of the now if he had shut the fuck up. In fact at one point this article was tagged for deletion.

<@killhamster> this brandon hilton thing

<@killhamster> his manager wanted to perform damage control for hilton's music career
<@killhamster> his songs are about being fucked in the ass
<@killhamster> think about that


—Don't believe us? Go listen for yourself!, Your ears will hate you forever.

Click here to read the transcripts from arbchat.


External Links

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Featured article October 18, 2009
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