Boston Marathon Bombing

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Ultra gore!!!
Terrorism™Just Do It!

The 2013 Boston Bomb-A-Thon, also known as the Boston TNT Party, was a tactical first-person sporting game in which a team of terrorists competed against a team of counter-terrorists in a series of rounds. The event was a blast and the funniest Boston Marathon evar when nobody expected a marathon to become a game; at least 260 people were blown away with 3 completely destroyed. While marathon running never used to be popular, it recently exploded into the mainstream as a vortex of lulz and drama, primarily due to the enhanced gameplay brought about by the introduction of new obstacles near the finish line and the addition of extra tactical teams and terrorists to pass through. When the players are nearing the finish line, they are required to dodge the nearby explosion of the bombs planted by the terrorists, or they get blown to pieces, with their giblets all over the place. As far as we know, this has only happened to a few players so far, including a few cops, a 13 year old boy, and some other guy that nobody cares about.


The wallhack/radar used by the Massachusetts State Police to cheat in Round 3

Players can either join the terrorists, counter-terrorists, or spectators. The spectators don't spawn with any weapons, but can still get their legs blown off from all the incoming gunfire. The terrorists decided this would be a better game to play than Russian Roulette and decided to plant these obstacles as the counter-terrorists were so fuckin' blind that they couldn't see what was coming.

The counter-terrorist team begins by running a two-legged race wearing spandex while dodging the numerous obstacles thrown in their path. Failing to avoid these obstacles can result in loss of at least 100 health points and having to complete the race on only one leg, effectively converting it to a game of hopscotch.

Three players on the spectator team lost over 9,000 health points, causing their death. Even the hospitals couldn't cure them. It consisted of some young 8 year old boy, a Chink graduate school student, and a restaurant manager lady. Then the two culprits ran away as only one became an martyr while the other one surrendered and went with the puh-leez.


It is widely suspected that the counter-terrorist team used a wallhack with the party van to locate the last remaining opponent masturbating in a boat in some guy's front yard. Additionally, they have admitted to botting in order to diffuse the remaining unexploded IED's. Cheating n00bs. After an epic battle with the party van and pigs, Tamerlan Tsarnaev got shot and died instantly, and now is currently partying in hell with Adam Lanza, Dylan Klebold, Eric Harris, Cho Seung-Hui, Ted Bundy, Hitler, and a million other people that is elected an hero.


Terrorist Team

The two commies considered by the party van as the culprits. Curly haired, big-nosed Jews.
The player with the dark baseball cap was dispatched by the FBI in a gun battle. The player with the white baseball cap is now making wedding plans with Bubba.

During the first few days, the commies weren't identified, because the police are too fucking retarded to figure out something so easy. As it turns out, the two players on the terrorist team are Muslims. Surprise! One commie was apparently seen taking a dangerous thing out of his backpack and placing it where the second pressure cooker of the gods exploded. One of them was some 17 year old runner. Surprisingly, these two culprits weren't sand niggers, or even North Korean gooks. At first they accused some illegal alien from Saudi Arabia of doing it after the police were having a fun time playing their favorite game called 9/11.

The actual culprits were Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and Tamerlan Tsarnaev, two Chechen natives who were deeply involved in Islam. The tweet below is from Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's Twitter-favicon.png Twitter.

Dzhokhar is six stars wanted.

Terrorist Family

26 year old Tamerlan Tsarnaev married Katherine Russell and had a 3 year old daughter together named Zahara.

Who benefits?

When looking at the ulterior motives behind this bombing, we need to look beyond mere Islam. We must look at individuals who benefited from the situation. These include:

  • People trying to increase military spending
  • Fat people who hate marathons
  • New York Yankees fans.
  • Kofi Kingston ("S.O.S.! I hear them shoutin'!"), a Bostonian who won his third WWE United States Championship (using his "Boom! Boom! Boom!" finisher Boom Drop to defeat Antonio Cesaro) less than 8 hours after 3 people were killed by the bombs.

Counter-Terrorist Team

Loads of people got their legs blown off and shit, it was awesome. Some argued however, that in order to race, everyone needs a pair of legs. Fascists. So, instead they ended the marathon and wasted their energies investigating the crime. Switching maps in the middle of a match is widely regarded as a form of admin abuse.

In later rounds, some guy at MIT got headshotted near a 7-11, and some chicks in an SUV got GTA'd. A car chase ensued resulting in one of the terrorists getting vehicle team-killed while the other easily got away from the dozens of pursuing police officers.

Final Score

The terrorist team epically pwned the counter-terrorists by a final score of 4 frags to 1, over the course of 3 maps.

Score by map

de_Boston (Terrorists: 3, Counter-Terrorists: 0)

cs_MIT (Terrorists: 1, Counter-Terrorists: 0)

Watertown (Terrorists: 0, Counter-Terrorists: 1) (One terrorist team killed by other via SUV.)

Graded Score

Graded score
Kill count: 9/20
Accuracy: 11/20
Style: 14/20 Way to finish a race off
Butthurt: 17/20
Bonus: 16/20 Escaped the bomb and lead a manhunt
Total score: 67/100 (C-)
Ban assault pressure cookers!!11

Rank and Situation


After James Holmes killed those couch potatoes at that movie theater, some glamfags made a fire happen with over 233 people killed somewhere in Brazil, Adam Lanza the aspie pwnting several key-you-tea-looking children and had beated off the living fuck out of teh country, and other successful hardships made by an hero, this explosion's rank have killed merely 3 people, including some 8 year old boy, and some adults but severely hurt at least 183 people who are bleeding their asses off. The culprit earns a C-. The party vans came with the FBI cumming out and calling it a terrorist attack because they were secretly busy beating off to the video of 9/11 which got this in their fuckin' mind.


Once some gay marathon mostly consisting of retards in green and some gingers are all were up to the finish line, teh two twin bombs exploded. This is recently after some gooks from North Korea threatened to bomb Americunt and become the new sand niggers. It seems now possibly several gingers (who all infest Boston) are either injured or hiding (in the closet), which is why the person who did this was brave to sacrifice his life by reducing the spread of ginger vitus in Boston. Now we can keep our souls! Unfortunately, there are still more gingers haunting the world with their soulless magic! We will now have to do another thing to team up and protect the world from them as well as the beaners who caused the swine flu.


  • A crowd fills with gingers, retards, Britfags, victims, and many others.
  • The marchers cum in (wit their cum).
  • A long time of watching a boring-ass show of a bunch of asspies marching until they cross the finish line.
  • Some one fucked teh shit up. We don't know who but we do know that they did a terrible job at it as only 3 people died.
  • Newsflash with butthurt reactions.
  • Osama Bin Laden watches the news and gets pissed with those Korean gooks for copying him and his sand nigger prison punks.
  • North Koreans could be the new sand niggers.


Many people who experienced this were shocked and decided to make JewTube videos about it. Most of them are just news story bullshit where the media ramble on about how "tragic" these events are and fail to realize that they've just been trolled by a bunch of lulzy Muslims pulling pranks on them. As for the other videos, many people just made parodies about it for the sole purpose of generating lulz and/or supporting Tsarnaev. Below are some prime examples of this:

This is definitely why there are so many
incidents like this in the USA.

Even Leonardo DiCaprio can't imagine two weeks in Boston.

Theme song

I'm a sailor peg
and I lost my leg!

I ran past the finish line
I lost my leg!

I'm shipping up to Boston!
(whoa oh oh) 

I'm shipping off 
to find my wooden leg!

I'm a sailor peg
and I lost my leg!

I ran past the finish line
I lost my leg!

I'm shipping up to Boston! 
(whoa oh oh) 

I'm shipping off 
to find my wooden leg!

Trolling people who were shocked by the scene

One of the bombs that failed to detonate at he scene.


Boston Marathon 2013 About missing Pics
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See Also

External Links

Boston Marathon Bombing is part of a series on HSTButton.png
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Ranked Mode (Single Player)

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCharles Whitman's TumorCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyFort HoodJack Gilbert GrahamJames HubertyJeffrey DahmerLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSagamihara StabbingsShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWoo Bum-kon

Casual Mode (Single Player)

Aaron AlexisAlexandre BissonnetteAli David SonbolyAnton Lundin PetterssonAurora Theatre ShootingBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCharles BishopChris Harper-MercerConnor BettsDallas Sniper AttacksDavid KatzDavid Malcolm GrayDavid LongDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDerrick BirdDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerÉric BorelFrank JamesGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniGian Luigi FerriIlnaz GalyavievJake DavisonJames Alex FieldsJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russel HouserJosef FritzlKhalid MasoodKimveer GillKip KinkelLam Kor WanMamoru TakumaMarc LepineMark BartonMark EssexMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael Kenneth McLendonMichael RyanMikese MorseMr. SaariNghtmrchld26Nikolas CruzPekka-Eric AuvinenPennsylvania School StabbingRamadan Van ManRandy StairRobert BalesRobert BowersRobert HawkinsRobert LongRobert SteinhäuserSantino William LeganSayfullo Saipov2017 Saint Petersburg Metro bombingThe Twinkie ManThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTJ LaneTrystan Andrew TerrellUnabomberWade Michael PageZhao ZeweiZug Massacre

Co-Operative Mode

1-14 Jakarta AttacksBoston Marathon BombingCharlie HebdoColumbineHiroshima and NagasakiJews did WTCPearl HarborSan Bernardino shootingSandniggers in ParisSri Lanka 2019 Terrorist AttacksTimothy McVeigh

Sid Meier's Civilization

Adolf HitlerAugusto PinochetCharles MansonHeaven's GateHolocaustJonestownJoseph StalinKim Il-sungMao ZedongOsama bin LadenPol PotSaddam HusseinWacoWorld War II

Banned From Scoring

Asa CoonBilly MitchellBrian Isaack ClydeJohn EarnestLogan ClarkNasim AghdamSam HydeSol PaisTodd RogersWilliam Atchison

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Patriarchs [-+]

Adam L. GoldsteinAl FrankenAlan MooreAlbert EinsteinAlex HirschAlicia VikanderAliza ShvartsAmy PascalAmy SchumerAndrew BreitbartAndy KaufmanAngelina JolieAniMatAnita SarkeesianAriana GrandeAyn RandBaruch GoldsteinBeastie BoysBen GarrisonBen ShapiroBen SteinBernie GoetzBernie MadoffBernie SandersBobby KotickBourg ProductionsBrie LarsonCasey NeistatChelsea ClintonChris SavinoChuck SchumerDan HarmonDan SchneiderDaniel BenfieldDanny ElfmanDaron NefcyDavid DraimanDavid KatzDebbie SchlusselDianne FeinsteinEd RendellEinsidlerEli KozinElliot RodgerElon MuskEmiNetEric AbramovEthan KleinFrank MillerGeorge SorosGirlvinylGreville JannerHarvey WeinsteinHenry KissingerHenry MakowHoward SternIce PoseidonJacob StellmachJared KnabenbauerJarlaxleArtemisJeff GoldblumJeffrey EpsteinJennifer LawrenceJerry SeinfeldJerry SpringerJesusJewWarioJim SterlingJoe LiebermanJohn KricfalusiJohn OliverJon StewartJonathan YanivJoshua Conner MoonJussie SmollettJustin RoilandKevin SmithKumichooKurt EichenwaldLauren FaustLena DunhamLinda MackLyor CohenMandoPonyMark ZuckerbergMatt StoneMaury PovichMichael BloombergsavetheinternetMichael RichardsMichael SavageMila KunisMiriam LazewatskyMonica LewinskyMonica RialMosesMoshe FinkbergMundaneMattNatalie PortmanNeil GaimanNihilistic SnakePamela GellerPewDiePieQuinton ReviewsRachael MacFarlaneRahm EmanuelRebecca SugarRoman PolanskiRon JeremyRupert MurdochSacha Baron CohenSam HydeSeth MacFarlaneSeth RogenSusan WojcickiTara StrongThe Amazing RacistThe Fine BrosThe Krassenstein BrothersTim BurtonTodd GoldmanTodd HowardTony GoldmarkTrevor NoahDonald DrumpfWil Wheatonwillg8686Woody AllenYandereDevYank Barry

Habitats [-+]
Traditions [-+]
H8s [-+]
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Big Players

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi Adam Lanza Anders Behring Breivik Antifa Australians Barack Obama Black Lives Matter Cho Seung-Hui Death to Traitors, Freedom for Britain DisruptJ20 Dnepropetrovsk maniacs George Soros George W. Bush Grog Jack Gilbert Graham John Walker Lindh Matthew Murray Michael Moore Mohamed Abdulaziz Rashid Saeed-Alim Muslims Osama Bin Laden Robert Hawkins Sharjah Ruler Sam Hyde The Finnisher The Unabrower Timothy McVeigh Unabomber

Terrorist Groups, Beliefs and Causes

Arab Axis of Evil Binghampton Iran Ireland Islam Israel Pakistan Palestine Sudan

Terrorist Actions

ATHF Terrorist Attack Ariana Grande Massacre Beheading videos Binghampton Tet Offensive BLMKidnapping Boston Marathon Bombing Breitscheidplatz Columbine Dallas Sniper Attacks Delaware State University Shooting Gaza War Khalid Masood's Westminster motor massacre London Bridge Attack 2017 Mass Shooting Narcovideos Nice Truck Attack 16 Nitroglycerin Occupy Wall Street Oklahoma City Bombing Paris Mass Shooting Pulse Nightclub Massacre Police Brutality Ramadan Van Man VTech Waco WTC

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Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

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Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsMarijuana AddictionGround Zero MosqueMarijuana AddictionMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiller TestMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenH.BidenJ.BidenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningJim TraficantDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IIChelsea Clinton Hillary Clinton CleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcConnellMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryDoomsday ClockG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communities

Boston Marathon Bombing is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againOpen the box]
3g1h-phone3.jpg Spree/One-time Killers:

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikCasey AnthonyGerry McCannCho Seung-HuiTyler PetersonMark EssexDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisMaurice ClemmonsAaron AlexisBruce Jeffrey PardoElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniJiverly VoongMalik Nadal HasanJared Lee LoughnerJeff WeiseJoe StackJosef FritzlJason RodriguezMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatti SaariMatthew MurrayPekka-Eric AuvinenWade Michael PageTheodore "The Unabomber" KaczynskiTim KretschmerTJ LaneRobert HawkinsRaoul MoatAlex Hribal

Career/Serial Killers:

Charles MansonChris BenoitHitlerMao ZedongJack the RipperJames HolmesRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed BundyJeffrey Dahmer


Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin Laden

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality

Featured article April 19 & 20, 2013
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