Books are collection of slowly decaying slices of tree, glued together with dead horses and covered in squid juice. Definitely old media. Nothing of interest has ever been written in a book—and if it has, it'd also be available on the internets. Before the internet, people wrote their secret shit in books, but this fad quickly faded away as they preferred to post it all over the internet; you get more attention this way. Books are also responsible for the creation of religion, role-playing, and most of the slashfic in existence—which is why they should be destroyed at every opportunity.
Since the creation of the internet, everybody stopped giving a shit about books. Some nostalgic nerds have tried bringing them back by writing books about the internets such as Otherland but lazy Americunts don't want to waste their energy turning pages. Scientists speculate that many years ago, books contained some importance to people, possibly having some informational value. It is unknown whether or not this will be proven true or false.
Books as a source of lulz
- Hitler and his fanclub like burning books, which creates much drama amongst whiners.
- Revealing spoilers to a book's rabid fans is good for a lul or two.
- Paladin-Press books are practically lulz manuals.
- Dr Seuss is a wonderfully racist children's author and illustrator. Using his illustrations can piss off both sides of the political spectrum!
- British prime minister, David Cameron, attempted to make books popular with today's youth by saying that, if he thinks something is cool, he'll say, "That is so book!" The reason for this is, apparently, because 'cool' filters to 'book' automatically when somebody is using the predictive text feature on a cell phone. As can be expected, this failed miserably.
- The Bible and the Koran are both books. If that's not a huge recipe for drama, I don't know what is.
- Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow was unanimously agreed upon by the Pulitzer Prize jury to win the 1974 prize because it was, essentially, the precursor to modern-day hentai. The board members of the Pulitzer Prize did not understand the lulz however, and furiously rejected the masterpiece, describing it as "obscene" and "unreadable". In the end, no Pulitzer Prize was awarded for 1974.
- Read a book
- Do You Want To Play With My Balls
- Fan fiction
- Deus Ex Machina
- Science Fiction
- Public Library
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