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Without nipples boobs are pointless.

Tits (Also known as titties, boobs, and other terms too stupid to name) are the slang for breast, one of two gelatinous formations on a female chest. They are the least hidden part of female human anatomy as well as the most jealously guarded. Since the dawn of man, tits have commonly been used as a form of currency and have recently been used to gain seats of high power and influential offices (see: Sarah Palin).

If a woman's tits suck, she may experience certain side effects such as:

  • Being forced to actually put any amount greater than zero into daily endeavors
  • Developing a sense of humor or something other than a completely irrelevant and useless personality
  • A massive chasm where inexhaustible self entitlement and free fabulous cash and prizes would otherwise be

So remember ladies, if God gave you crappy boobs, that's because he hates you and wants you to suffer, and rightfully so.


Big floppy chocolate tits.

Tit quality has been scientifically proven to determine 99.9% of a woman's usefulness to society. The better the tits, the less brainpower nature will deem it necessary to allot her. Women with great tits are stupid enough to keep their annoying dreams and desires from hindering the Greater Good of Mankind. Here's a few types of tits and their results:

  • Sloppy: Sloppy tits are the kind of boobs that are so fat and unattractive that before the third chick walks into the porno, you find yourself projectile vomiting on your computer screen. They get their name from the mesmerizing sway and jiggle that often comes with the classic case of sloppy tittitus.
  • Invisible: Invisitits are the boobs that unattractive skinny chicks have. These are the kind that gets pedophiles and weeaboos wet.
  • Breast implants: The kind that 13-year-old boys want to touch
  • Man boobs: Man boobs are boobs belonging to a man that is overweight. Unfortunately, wherever real boobs can be found on display in a public area man boobs are always in close proximity.


Seriously? Fourteen million porn sites at your disposal and you want to look at porn here? Huh, whatever.

How to be a famous woman


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