Blaming China

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigationJump to search
Atomic.gif Warning!
Oh shit, they've just pwned Mongolia (but lost Hainan)

Blaming China is a US government drama-generating technique currently being forced on the American public to cover their arses from blame when the economy collapses since all our money are belong to them.

Since taking over from Bill Clinton in 2000, the George W. Bush administration has squandered a national surplus of five point six trillion into a nation debt of three trillion which those inscrutable Chinks snapped up on eBay and proceeded to rape America in the arse by charging exorbitant (and constantly growing) interest rates that have ensured your grandchildrens' mutant cancerous grandchildren will still be paying off while the principal loan will remain forever out of reach.

To make matters worse, at least 110% of everything sold in America is now "Made in China" since Mexicans are fat, lazy and want too much, constantly bitching about their treatment as America's new slaves.

Maybe it's karma. Bad things happen when you're not nice.


Sharon Stone, who's never heard of World War II, blaming China for the earthquake that killed a bunch of chinese people


Realising how bad this all looks, the administration brains trust decided that damage control of some sort was needed to discredit our soon-to-be Commie lord and masters so that when China finally calls in the marker for all the loans (and accrued interest) and pwns the USA, the American people New Chinese won't roll over passively and abandon all the things that made this nation great like Starbucks, Colonel Sanders' chikins and abortion in favour of Green Tea, General Tso's chikins and China's planned parenthood policies.

Things Being Blamed On China

He doesn't have big balls no more.
A Chinese fur trapper in the employ of Jay-Z
  • Increased pollution on the Western Sea Board because of the rise in the population in cashmere goats (producing cashmere for the US market). Supposedly they have pointy hooves which stir up the dust in the Gobi Desert (which then becomes the latest Chinese import via the Jet Stream) while foraging for food. [1]
  • Poison in your pet's food.
  • Invading and destroying white America.
  • Passing off tanuki fur as synthetic coats sold by Jay-Z's Rocawear store, Puff Daddy's Sean John label and Macy's.
  • Anti-freeze in your toothpaste.
  • Lead painted Hasbro toys making your kids even moar retarded.
  • Doing nothing to curb their rampant and flagrant industry pollution that's melting the ice caps (the irony being that said production is mainly making tube socks to keep our feet toasty).
  • Exploding Department of Water and Power transformers that have recently plunged millions of hot and bothered Angelinos into hours of darkness and sweat during a record breaking heatwave. (sauce)
  • Consuming all the world's remaining oil for their brand new luxury cars bought by the American taxpayer.
  • Killing American babies.
  • Attacking Google (whose company motto is DON'T BE EVIL!) for doing business with a cruel and repressive regime with no free press and Internet Cops despite the fact that America is BFF with Saudi Arabia.
  • Yahoo's falling stock prices.
  • Losing the LOLympics because China had loli gymnasts who took all the Jew Chink gold lead.
  • Oppressing Tibetans (even though Americans, Australians, Canadians, and the English live almost entirely on stolen land taken from Native Americans, the vaguely black Aboriginals, and the nigger Welsh.)
  • Paving the way currently for how ALL our internets will be censored and monitored within the next ten years, paranoid slanty eyed freakoids that they are. Google played along with this until very recently, and we all (should) know those cunts have kept track of our searches for two years.
  • Corporate and military espionage perpetrated on the likes of teh Google by 1337 Chinese hackers on MSG.

China Responds

Your Jewgolds, did you get them?

Fallout from this epic IRL troll has been swift and dramatic as a proud people such as the Chinese are prone to much hand-wringing and national shame when accused of coming up short. Heads have (and will continue to) loll.

Nixon's historic 1972 goodwill visit to China

However, it's mainly business as usual in China since they've been sending America unregulated, poorly made, cheap crap constructed by people who don't give a flying fuck (under conditions that would be considered inhumane in the US) since Nixon BFFd them in the mid-'70s.

Trolling China

  • Give the Dalai Lama the Medal of Freedom while China's having their big Communist Party meeting.
  • Inviting the Dalai Lama to hang out in the Oval Office at the White House.
  • Playing the National Anthem of the Republic of China ("Taiwan") by mistake while greeting the People's Republic's Prime Minister in Washington.

See Also

Blaming China
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismCyanismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismRepublicanReconquistaSocialismStoner GuruTory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsMarijuana AddictionGround Zero MosqueMarijuana AddictionMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiller TestMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenH.BidenJ.BidenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningJim TraficantDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IIChelsea Clinton Hillary Clinton CleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcConnellMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryDoomsday ClockG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communities

Portal trolls.png

Blaming China is part of a series on


Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

Pika Pika.gif Blaming China is related to a series on AZNS. [Domo ArigatoHerrow]
More Dangerous Than They Look

Nevada-tanHideki KamiyaJiverly VoongKenneth EngLindsay Kantha SouvannarathRiboflavinRockonlittleoneWayne ChiangMutsuo ToiElliot RodgerPoisonIvyLulKatoOtoya YamaguchiBus UncleVincent Li

Noted Tyrants

Chairman MaoCho Seung HuiHirohitoMontezumaKim Jong IllPol PotEllen Pao

Cam Whores

Ayuka NaritaBiostudentgirlEelgirlEmotion EricHard GayLittle FattyTila TequilaTubgirlThe Wine KoneTrap-kunXiao RishuYuri Kochiyama


AimeeApplemilk1988Arudou DebitoDesu-radioFiredarkdragonFred GallagherHidoshiJellobunsKevin and KatMari IijimaMRirianPyroboobyReyvataeilSnapesnoggerSe-chanTwo-Ton-NekoValerie (Pai)ZS3

Musical Endeavors


Me No Rikey Velly Much

Game2WinterRucka Rucka AliMark WahlbergMiley CyrusUnited Airlines

Azn Stuff

Edison Chen photo scandalAnti-CNNFan deathMilkMizhi County No. 3 Middle School AttackPockyRamenRicersThe SATYaeba