Bear Grylls

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Edward Michael Grylls, aka "Bear", aka "mental bastard" aka "pimpdaddy" aka "El urino",eats raw animals for breakfast and generally fucks your shit up, with a side of piss. He is the star of the TV show Man vs. Wild to amerifags and Bear Grylls: Born Survivor to you britfags. In the previously aforementioned show he generally acts like a boss by standing butt-neked in freezing rivers or catching and fucking dirty animals including you.

Big Bear used to be part of the SAS, so you know he's got shit locked down. He also happens to be the youngest Britfaggot to climb mount everest, at the top of which he drank a hot steaming cup of victory piss. Gryllsie also happens to be a pretty shitty meme, that usually has a macro of his squinty grizzled frontface, depicting him in situations where he nearly always replenishes himself with steamy urine.

Bearbigballs having a relaxing bath.

Planetary sized testicles

One thing about young Eddy Grylls is that his balls are gigantic and made of admantium. Some dipshit jealous neckbeards say that his shows are staged, but claiming this will never compensate for their vaginas. Slowly drag your eyes down the page and check out the motherfucking genuine shit he does.


So what would you do if you were stuck in the middle of the ocean with nothing but contaminated water and a long rubber tube? Cry like a little faggot bitch? Probably. Not bear-boy though, he'll just go right ahead and give himself an enema.

How many reindeer hearts have you eaten lately? Fuck all, that's how many.

What a fucking crazy stupid douchebag



He really needs to stop drinking all of that piss.


— A doctor


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