Augusto Pinochet

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What /pol/ thinks Pinochet was...
...versus what he actually was. Many such cases!

Augusto Pinochet Ugarte (alternatively spelled Pinoshit, Penisgay, or I FUCKIN' LOVE ISRAEL!) is Hitler's second reincarnation (Electric Boogaloo), he was a high ranking military Chilean spic, who was a Dictator from 1973 to 1990, and killed over 9000 commies strictly for the lulz. Most of Chile's rich families loved him, since rich and beautiful people know what is good, but the poor socialists are all leftards and made quite a bit of drama when the Pinochetists changed "dictatorship" to "Military Government" in 6 Graders History textbooks.

ALL HAIL ÜBERLORD

Once upon a time... there was a Commie called Salvador Allende. He was doing it wrong because it has been proven that communism is fail. All the spics became even more poor during his government, he fucked up the education, the agriculture and the economics. People went BAWWWWWing to the milifags, and they put their hands to work...

BOOM!

It was a windy midday of the 11 of September, 1973. The military was going to the Government HQ, and lots of tanks and helicopters were decorating the beautiful scene. The tanks bombed "La Moneda", and it was super effective!.

The only 4 based people in Latin America: Pepito, Speedy Gonzalez, Spiccy McSpic, and uhhh some short guy.

Salvador, looking at the carnage, took his gun (a Cubanfag gave it to him, Fidel Castro), and decided to become An Hero. The military took power, making something like a government committee. They chose our Dear Lord, Augusto Pinochet, to lead them.

Meanwhile he was in his bullet-proof car, some random FARC-ish niggers shot a small rocket to it, failing epically. A great IRL troll, Pinochet answered with "Operation Albania", where he pwned 12 of them.

During his government, he sent lots of commies and liberals to an Island near Easter Island for killing them later. All for the lulz and for great justice. Also, he stole money from taxes for the Air Force.

He almost made Pinochet's Young, manipulating public education and adding some military anthems to the school's anthem.

USA? In my Politics?

Yes, Americunts were involved, the CIA was there. Nixon and Kissinger were fucking paranoid.

Project FUBELT was aimed to manipulate all conceivable variables for ensuring that Salvador Allende never rose to power again, and if he did, plans were underway for a military coup. Nixon Said: "We don't want Chile to be another Cuba". ITT Corp. bought 70% of Chile's telephone company, founded a widespread newspaper and financed Allende's opposition.

Also, Operation Condor was made for making sure all the countries of the south were directed by dictators... with that, hopefully, eradicating all traces of Socialism and Communism there. Kill them with fire.

Also, Pinochet had clear connections with a known international firearms trader who had clear connections with Iraq. The journalist who was investigating that was murdered at his hotel room in Santiago, Chile.

Every great one has its flaws

Whilst Pinochet was a pretty good leader in terms of getting rid of communism, he occasionally resorted to shilling for Jews, often giving them high ranks in the government and buying arms from Israel.

He also gave shelter to PAUL FUCKIN' SCHÄFER SCHNEIDER, an escaped German WW2 soldier who (with the aid of CIA shekels) set up a pedophile torture camp, dubbed 'Colonia Dignidad' (Dignity Colony), where he often raped and did human experiments on little boys. So, imagine Pizzagate, MK ULTRA, and Operation Paperclip all combined into one, hot smokin' CIA-approved, Jew-funded ball of crazyness!! Now ain't that just quackin' crazy, Jimbo?

Aftermath

lol dissapeared "magically"

More than 39 oppositionists disappeared. You couldn't say "sex" on TV, media was manipulated, all the political parties were dissolved, you couldn't organize a mass event and also Police shot every niggah thief. Really good work.

Some dumb university students couldn't see the geniousness of our spic Führer, and with lots of protests, they got a deal. Our dear leader will enact a new consitution, vastly improved, and he will remain in power for 8 more years, then there will be an election.

Arranged Elections

 
 
A rainbow? But that's the faggot symbol!
 

 

—Pinochet upon finding out that his political adversary's campaign was run by a bunch of stinkin' little sodomites.

8 years passed quickly, Chile was getting better and better with that right-tard nazi dictator. Then all the liberal-communist-socialist-left scum made an alliance for the elections. There were only 2 options in that elections: Si and No (Yes and No), where Yes is for having our dear leader in power for other period, and No is for making the communist scum win. The left-alliance created lots of gay nigger ads, like this:


As you see, No is full of faggots.

Si's:

Gay Commies
QUICK TEST: See the differences between each video, in the No one, they only care about fucking happy people dancing as retards, and in our Si, you can see rich and beatiful people making money with copper.

Si was going to win, they had a 3% advantage over No, but in the last moment, someone tricked out all the shit and No won. However, by the grace of God, Pinochet trolled the whole country by adding to the new constitution that if he lost his powers as president, he would be a senator for life.

Masive Butthurt from Commies

Good night sweet prince ;_;.

Some years later, commies contracted two 1337 detectives for collecting information about all people that Pinochet killed, and then archiving it. They found that over 9000 people had their Human Rights violated. They BAWWed when they knew all their sons, pregnant babies and daddies were tortured and dead.

pwnt by Britfags and Spaintards

aw, looks like grampa did a poopy-woopy in his pansy-wansies again :(

A fucking spaintard judge ordered to jail Pinochet, while he was in London. Pinochet's lawyers then bribed a Jew doctor to testify that Pinochet was senile and unfit to stand trial. He was freed 2 weeks later and came back to Chile saying hello as nothing happened, despite being a medical miracle due to having recovered from senile dementia, which is incurable; the irony of it made all the attorneys in the world mad, and tried to make him go to jail using Universal Jurisdiction shit, and he was under 300 charges in Chile. But since he was a senator for the rest of his life, he was protected from all problems. Then he managed to trade his senatorial immunity with the "ex-president" title, he will receive economic compensations for any trial.

LOL DEAD

On a sad 3rd of December, 2006, our General had a massive anal yeast infection and died of a heart attack. We will always love you, our dear leader.

See Also

External Links

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