Alan Turing

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Seriously pwnd.
HE DID SO INVENT THEM!...well sort of.
The gay apple was not dedicated to Alan Turing, it was made for the lulz.

Alan Turing was a notorious gay nerd partially responsible for inventing the internet; Britain pwned the world by causing him to kill himself only to then posthumously pardon him for his faggotry in a bravura display of trolls remorse.

Short Life

He created the world's most advanced code breaking computer and cracked some Nazi skulls codes including enigma, making him a proto-h4ck3r, and thus helped to win the war and keep Britain out of the Reich. Without him the world might have been saved by Hitler, Mussolini, and Hirohito.

The British Government thanked him for saving their arses by arresting him for being gay. They forced him to take female hormones because back in those fucktarded wonderful times they thought that any faggot was automatically of the opposite sex.

He wasn't allowed to work with computers anymore even though he was a fucking genius because the spooks who arrested him were batshit crazy homophobes (This is one of many reasons why England fails even more than the Spics). As he wasn't actually transsexual this made him intensely depressed. In the end, he killed himself.


Through his death Alan not only proved himself to be an hero but also enormously gay an hero. As he was a huge fan of Snow White and The Seven Dwarves he killed himself by lacing an apple with cyanide. The world is yet to see a gayer death than this and probably never will.

A recent article in The New Yorker has alleged that Turing may not have killed himself, but rather pwned by the British intelligence.[1] After Turing was exposed as a catcher and not a pitcher when it came to getting raped in the ass by his big fatass neighbor Paul, it was no longer possible for him to get buttsecks in the Britain. Thus, he started making frequent trips to Eastern Europe in search of buttsecks with 13-year-old boys. The British intelligence were worried that Turing was trading state secrets with the commies for buttsecks, and may have pwned him as result.

It was rumored that the original rainbow Apple logo was invented to pay homage to Alan and the apple he killed himself with, but as the "fag flag" wasn't invented until two years later, that would be impossible.

Intelligent Internets

Although well known for coining the phrase "hot stuff coming through", Turing also invented the Turing Test in 1950: a method to measure intelligence in computers through a chat-room. If you replace a person with a computer without seeing it happen and can't tell the difference then the computer has intelligence.

Machines haven't yet passed the Turing Test as demonstrated by the current Governor of California in The Terminator.

Most IRC users also fail this test; in fact it has long been predicted that the Turing Test will be passed by a machine as a result of the general human level of sentience failing, rather than that of the machines increasing.

Epic Win

On September 10, 2009, the British Prime Minister apologized for his country not sucking enough homo cock.

The Imitation Game

The jews in order to earn more jew gold decideds to disgrace his death even more by making a movie out of his life. Apparently it is nothing more than a force drama that tells everyone being gay is ok.

See Also


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